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Over weight can lead health problems. Causes and management

Over weight can lead health problems. Causes and management nErwl
Obesity is consider that common health problem of people. The increased weight of people will affect their health and body. In my opinion it is a true fact over weight can lead to some health issues. But proper awareness can reduce the over weight. Firstly, in the modern world, the life style of people has changed completely. They are eating various kind of western foods. Over eating of a food can lead to obesity. Secondly, the another cause of over weight is lack of exercise. People who live in the busy world have no time for doing exercise. Some people are very lazy. On the other hand, some people are obese because of hereditary factors. Another main reason of obesity was side effect of some drugs. For example, over use of Tab. Ranitidine leads to obesity. Over weight cannot be considered as a disease, that is a condition of our body. Firstly, people must restrict their over eating habits. Health authorities should provide awareness to the people to prepare a diet chart or consult a dietitian for improve good diet habit. Secondly, educate the people about the improvement of exercise in daily. Exercise reduces our blood pressure, and get good digestion and maintain our body well. Encourage them to do exercise. Ask them to take more water. Water is also good for our body building. To conclude, awareness and some measures reduces the obesity rate. It can also decrease health problems related to obesity.
Obesity is
Consider using a past participle here: "considered".
consider
that common
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health
problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
. In my opinion it is a true fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
proper awareness can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
.
Firstly
, in the modern world, the life style of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
completely. They are eating various kind of western foods.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Over
eating of a food can lead to obesity.
Secondly
, the another cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
is lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the busy world have no time for doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
lazy.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
are obese
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of hereditary factors. Another main reason of obesity was side effect of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drugs.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of Tab.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ranitidine
leads to obesity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
cannot
be considered
as a disease,
that is
a condition of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
restrict their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
eating habits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
authorities should provide awareness to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to prepare a diet chart or consult a dietitian for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
diet habit.
Secondly
, educate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
in daily.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Exercise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
our blood pressure, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
digestion and maintain our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
well. Encourage them to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
. Ask them to take more water. Water is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
building.
To conclude
, awareness and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the obesity rate. It can
also
decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems related to obesity.
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IELTS academic Over weight can lead health problems. Causes and management

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
244 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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