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organizing large family celebration

organizing large family celebration jbeAM
A large family celebration such as a wedding is the perfect opportunity for family members to meet up and have a good time. However, preparing it can be a little bit difficult sometimes. In this essay, I will discuss some of the problems and solutions for them. The first and most important issue is the preparation cost. For example, a weeding can be quite expensive, you will have to worry about the food for guests, the decorations, where the wedding will be held, the number of tables for guests and so on. A solution for that is to find a wallet-suitable place, try to use more simple, cheaper, or handmade decorations and control the amount of guest invitations, you don’t need to invite everyone you know. Another problem is the amount of work that is to be done. If there’s a special occasion for relatives to gather, a lot of work will have to be done such as cleaning, buying the ingredients and preparing foods, you’d have at least a few family members that help you out, but it’ll still be tiring. Well for this problem the solution is quite simple, keep it simple and try not to get stressed, concentrate on your current task and don’t think too much about all the work then it’s just a matter of time. Taking everything into consideration, there can be problems while organizing a large family celebration. In order to tackle this, I’ve given some solutions for these problems i thought was the most important.
A large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
celebration such as a wedding is the perfect opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
up and have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
time.
However
, preparing it can be a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
difficult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
. In this essay, I will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
for them.

The
first
and most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue is the preparation cost.
For example
, a weeding can be quite expensive, you will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about the food for guests, the decorations, where the wedding will
be held
, the number of tables for guests and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
for
that is
to find a wallet-suitable place, try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more simple, cheaper, or handmade decorations and control the amount of guest invitations, you don’t need to invite everyone you know.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is the amount of work
that is
to
be done
. If there’s a special occasion for relatives to gather,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
work will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be done
such as cleaning, buying the ingredients and preparing foods, you’d have at least a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you out,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it’ll
still
be tiring. Well for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is quite simple,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it simple and try not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
, concentrate on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
task and don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
too much about all the work then it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a matter of time.

Taking everything into consideration, there can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
while organizing a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
celebration. In order to tackle this, I’ve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
was the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
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IELTS academic organizing large family celebration

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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