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On the bar chart below you can see the rate of divorce initiators by age groups in Australia, 2001. Summarize and compare the most important features and differences

On the bar chart below you can see the rate of divorce initiators by age groups in Australia, 2001. Summarize and compare the most important features and differences Ewy63
The given graph demonstrates a percentage of married couples, who decided to change their relationship status. Divorces rate is correlated with age from less than 24 y. o. to over 65 y. o. Overall, the number of divorces is not higher than 23% in the period to be demonstrated. Moreover, there is a constant tendency to decrease the number of divorces as the couple's age approaches to their 60s (less than 3%). Besides this, the most typical (22-23%) period for a couple to meet the decision about divorce is age around 30 y. o. However, having a closer look on the ages between 35 and 65 y. o. , we could discover a steadily drop of divorces percent from 21 to less than 4. Furthermore, a divorce initiative often belongs to men, especially those who are aged over 30 (peak consists 22%). On the contrary, wives mostly assume responsibility for the decision to break up before they are turned 30 y. o. (peak is about 23%). However, there is less than 5% difference between wives’ and husbands’ initiative in general.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graph demonstrates a percentage of married couples, who decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their relationship status.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Divorces
rate
is correlated
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
than 24 y. o. to over 65 y. o.
Overall
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorces
is not higher than 23% in the period to
be demonstrated
.
Moreover
, there is a constant tendency to decrease the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorces
as the couple's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
approaches to their 60s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(less
than 3%).
Besides
this, the most typical (22-23%) period for a couple to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the decision about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorce
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
around 30 y. o.
However
, having a closer look on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
between 35 and 65 y. o.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
we could discover a
You used an adverb ('steadily') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('drop') instead of another adjective.
steadily drop
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorces
percent from 21 to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
than 4.
Furthermore
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorce
initiative
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
belongs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
,
especially
those who
are aged
over 30 (peak consists 22%).
On the contrary
, wives
mostly
assume responsibility for the decision to break up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
are turned
30 y. o. (peak is about 23%).
However
, there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
than 5% difference between wives’ and husbands’ initiative
in general
.
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IELTS academic On the bar chart below you can see the rate of divorce initiators by age groups in Australia, 2001. Summarize and compare the most important features and differences

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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