Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

computer ownership in correlation to education level

computer ownership in correlation to education level 6a1yl
The first graph talks about computer ownership throughout the years 2002 to 2010 meanwhile the second graph illustrates the computer ownership by education level. in the first graph there is a continuous increase of computer ownership as the years pass by. The year 2002 was the year with the lowest computer ownership, on the other hand the year 2010 was the year with the greatest computer ownership. in the second graph the pattern is the same as in the first graph where there is a continuous growth of computer ownership regardless of their education level. computer ownership becomes more common in the year 2010 than in the year 2002. the group with the greatest computer ownership according to their education level, in both years 2002 and 2010, are people pursing a postgraduate degree, while the least ownership of computers is from people who have no high school diploma. But there is a clear trend in both graphs that the later the year is, the more people are owning computers.
The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
talks about computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
throughout the years 2002 to 2010 meanwhile the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
illustrates the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
by education level.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
there is a continuous increase of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
as the years pass by. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2002 was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
with the lowest computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
,
on the other hand
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2010 was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
with the greatest computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
the pattern is the same as in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
where there is a continuous growth of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
regardless of their education level.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
becomes more common in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2010 than in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2002.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
group with the greatest computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
according to their education level, in both years 2002 and 2010, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
pursing a postgraduate degree, while the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
of computers is from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have no high school diploma.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
trend in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graphs
that
Duplicated 'the' in the phrase: 'the later the'. Did you mean "later the"?
the later the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is, the more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
The verb 'owning' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are owning
computers.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic computer ownership in correlation to education level

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
169 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5.5band
    Phone companies that sold millions of phones
    This report concerns five cell phone companies that sold millions of phones over three specific years, and the bar chart details each mobile corporation's performance in each period. Generally speaking, in 2009 and 2011, Nokia led the pack, whereas Apple took the last place in 2009, and consumer...
  • 6.5band
    The given pie charts illustrate several main features about coffee. For example, where coffee is produced, where coffee is used, and finally where coffee is distributed.
    The given pie charts illustrate several main features about coffee. For example, where coffee is produced, where coffee is used, and finally where coffee is distributed. Overall, among five countries producing coffee, Central America makes the most significant amount of this kind of product. In add...
  • 5band
    This chart shows three types nutrients consumed percentages
    The chart below shows the number of nutrients consumed in the USA from the morning tonight. Overall it's pretty clear that sugar is the most consumed material in snacks. While sodium is mostly time consumed in dinner, breakfast in saturated fat And sugar. We can see that there are some nutrients...
  • 5band
    there are three different of nutrients
    The chart below shows the number of nutrients consumed in the USA from the morning tonight. Overall it's pretty clear that sugar is the most consumed material in snacks. While sodium is mostly time consumed in dinner, breakfast in saturated fat And sugar. We can see that there are some nutrients...
  • 6.5band
    the number of tourists going to a specific Caribbean island from 2010 to 2017
    The graph illustrates the number of tourists going to a specific Caribbean island from 2010 to 2017. These visitors are categorized according to their accommodation preferences. Overall, the number of tourists showed an upward trend in the given time period. In the beginning, the number of visitors...
  • 5.5band
    Main source of energy in the USA in 1980 and 1990
    The pie charts ilustrate the main source of energy in the USA during two years, 1980 and 1990. The charts show that oil remained as the major energy source in the USA in the 1980s and the 1990s. Overall, while the percentage of other major energy sources such as coal, natural gas and hydroelectric p...





Get more results for topic:
  • computer ownership in correlation to education level