Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Obesity Rate in one country

Obesity Rate in one country q1Lop
The line graph gives information about the obesity rate of four different age range in one country from 1971 to 2005. Overall, what stands out from the graph is that there were enormous upward trends in the proportion of all age ranges. Lookin at the details, as regards people between the ages of 45-64, obesity started almost 18 pecent in 1971, then there was a slight rise over the five years, at which point it dramatically increased to around 37 percent in 1999, then it levelled off until 2003. Finally, it increased sharply and finished at around 41 percent in 2005. People who between the ages of 30-44 has the same change as above. Percentages of people who between the ages of 18-29 increased sharply up to 1999 and continued slightly up to 2005. The obesity rate of people who between the ages of 65-74 rose dramatically in 1999 and slightly decreased up to 2005.
The line graph gives information about the obesity rate of four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
range in one country from 1971 to 2005.
Overall
, what stands out from the graph is that there were enormous upward trends in the proportion of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
ranges.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lookin
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, as regards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
of 45-64, obesity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
almost 18
Possible spelling mistake found.
pecent
in 1971, then there was a slight rise over the five years, at which point it
dramatically
increased to around 37 percent in 1999, then it levelled off until 2003.
Finally
, it increased
sharply
and finished at around 41 percent in 2005.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
of 30-44 has the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
as above. Percentages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
of 18-29 increased
sharply
up to 1999 and continued
slightly
up to 2005. The obesity rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
of 65-74 rose
dramatically
in 1999 and
slightly
decreased up to 2005.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic Obesity Rate in one country

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
155 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Obesity Rate in one country