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Number of tourists visiting Syria in a year.

Number of tourists visiting Syria in a year. YBgeK
The graph illustrates the number of foreign tourists visiting Syria throughout the year 2020. To begin with, around 1000 tourists visited the country in January. A moderate increase is observed reaching nearly 7000 in June. The number of tourists peaked in July with approximately 110000 foreigners. From that point, some fluctuations are noted with a downward trend and nearly 3000 tourists in December. To sum it up in a nutshell, it seems that people tend to visit Syria more during the summer months. With a decrease in the number of tourists during cold winter season.
The graph illustrates the number of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
visiting Syria throughout the year 2020. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, around 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
visited the country in January. A moderate increase
is observed
reaching
nearly
7000 in June. The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
peaked in July with approximately 110000 foreigners. From that point,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations
are noted
with a downward trend and
nearly
3000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
in December. To sum it up in a nutshell, it seems that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to visit Syria more during the summer months. With a decrease in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
during
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
winter season.
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IELTS academic Number of tourists visiting Syria in a year.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
95 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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