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The pie chart illustrates the mean percentage of the specified three nutrients in daily meals in USA. These can be hazardous when consumed in excess.

The pie chart illustrates the mean percentage of the specified three nutrients in daily meals in USA. These can be hazardous when consumed in excess. OMrKd
The pie chart illustrates the mean percentage of the specified three nutrients in daily meals in USA. These can be hazardous when consumed in excess. It is clear from the graph that, the amount of sodium and saturated fat is consumed more in dinner compared t other meals whereas, sugar is taken in large quantity in snacks. Rest other meals are at minimal rate for the all the three nutrients. In the afternoon meal, sodium and saturated fat is injested at the rate of 29%. However, both these nutrients are consumed in large quantity in dinner 43% and 37%. In breakfast and snacks sodium is taken in equal rate14% each. Whereas saturated fat is consumed slightly more in these two meals 21% and 16%. Sugar is mostly eaten in the snacks 42%. In dinner sugar is consumed 23% however, the intake of sugar during breakfast and lunch is nearly same 16% and 3% more in lunch 19% hence this shows the consumption of all three nutrients in all the meals of a day on regular basis in USA.
The pie chart illustrates the mean percentage of the specified three nutrients in daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
. These can be hazardous when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
in excess.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that, the amount of sodium and saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
more in dinner compared t other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is taken
in large quantity in snacks. Rest other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
are at minimal rate for the all the three nutrients.

In the afternoon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
, sodium and saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
injested
at the rate of 29%.
However
, both these nutrients are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
in large quantity in dinner 43% and 37%. In breakfast and snacks sodium
is taken
in equal rate14% each. Whereas saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
slightly
more in these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
21% and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
16%. Sugar
is
mostly
eaten in the snacks 42%. In dinner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
23%
however
, the intake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
during breakfast and lunch is
nearly
same 16% and 3% more in lunch 19%
hence
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the consumption of all three nutrients in all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
of a day on regular basis
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
.
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IELTS academic The pie chart illustrates the mean percentage of the specified three nutrients in daily meals in USA. These can be hazardous when consumed in excess.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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