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The graph below show the growth in wages within

The graph below show the growth in wages within 30AAw
The bar graph compares the variation in the growth in salaries within the G7 nation from 2000 to 2007 and 2008 to 2012. On one hand, the UK and the US had gave more wages as compared to any other countries in the year 2000. In addition, France and the US gave salaries around 3% between 2000 to 2007. Furthermore, In 2000, Canada gave 3% wages while Italy and Japan gave around 0. 5%. In 2002, Canada, Italy and Japan salaries growth were decrease around -1%. on other hand, In between 2008 to 2012, Canada gave around 1%of wages. While the UK gave negative salaries in all these years around -2%. In addition, With regards to the Germany, they spent around 1% of salaries in 2008 to 2012. In 2009, France spend around 3% of wages while in 2008 they spent around -0. 5%. Overall, The UK and US spend more money in salaries between 2000 to 2008. While Japan and Italy gave less money in these years. During 2008 to 2012, Canada spent more money on wages as compared to any countries.
The bar graph compares the variation in the growth in
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salaries
within the G7 nation from 2000 to 2007 and 2008 to 2012.

On one hand, the UK and the US had
Use past participle here: "given".
gave
more wages as compared to any other countries in the year 2000.
In addition
, France and the US
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
3%
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2000 and 2007".
between 2000 to 2007
.
Furthermore
, In 2000, Canada
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gave
3% wages while Italy and Japan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
0. 5%. In 2002, Canada, Italy and Japan
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salaries
growth
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
-1%.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
other hand, In
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2008 and 2012".
between 2008 to 2012
, Canada
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
1%of wages.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the UK
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gave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
in all these years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
-2%.
In addition
,
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the Germany, they spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
1% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
in 2008 to 2012. In 2009, France
The singular proper name 'France' must be used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "spends", "spent".
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
3% of wages while in 2008 they spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
-0. 5%.

Overall
, The UK and US spend more money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2000 and 2008".
between 2000 to 2008
. While Japan and Italy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gave
less money in these years. During 2008 to 2012, Canada spent more money on wages as compared to any countries.
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IELTS academic The graph below show the growth in wages within

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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