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The Graphs below illustrates the unemployment rate of citizens and average salary per week in the year 2015.

The Graphs below illustrates the unemployment rate of citizens and average salary per week in the year 2015. d35Vo
Firstly, from the First Graph there are 4 different Degrees -Doctoral, Professional, Master's and Bachelor's. Some students who are studying. And two level of diploma students in 2005. The average earnings of these citizens from the graph shows that Professional degree holders earn more in week than others precisely 1800 $. Followed by Doctoral degree holders earn second most exactly 1740 $. On the other hand Master's and Bachelor's degree holders earn 1560 $ and 1240 $ respectively. The citizens with no degree earns 840 $more than High school and less than high school degree citizens 701 % and 508 %. Ultimately Less than high school degree citizens earns the least money. Secondly, from the second graph the unemployment rate of Professional and Doctoral degree graduates is 1. 5 %. Master's and bachelor's graduates unemployment rate is 2. 6 % and 2. 9 %. Followed by citizens with no degree 4. 6 %. High school diploma holders are the second highest rate of 5. 7 %. Finally, the largest unemployment rate is 8. 1 % who are less than a high school diploma. To sum up, comparing both the graphs indicates highest earnings from Professional degree citizens and Lowest unemployment rate from Professional and Doctoral degree holders.
Firstly
, from the
First
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Graph
there are 4
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different
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Degrees
-Doctoral,
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Professional
, Master's and Bachelor's.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
students who are studying. And two level of diploma students in 2005. The average earnings of these
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citizens
from the
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graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
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holders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
more in week than others
precisely
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$1800".
1800 $
. Followed by Doctoral
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degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
second most exactly
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$1740".
1740 $
.
On the other hand
Master's and Bachelor's
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degree
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holders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$1560".
1560 $
and
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$1240".
1240 $
respectively
. The
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citizens
with no
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degree
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earns
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$840".
840 $
more than
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High
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school
and less than
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high
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school
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degree
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citizens
701 % and 508 %.
Ultimately
Less than
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high
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school
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degree
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citizens
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earns
the least money.

Secondly
, from the second
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graph
the
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unemployment
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rate
of
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Professional
and Doctoral
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degree
graduates is 1. 5 %. Master's and bachelor's graduates
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unemployment
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rate
is 2. 6 % and 2. 9 %. Followed by
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citizens
with no
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degree
4. 6 %.
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High
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school
diploma
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holders
are the second highest
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rate
of 5. 7 %.
Finally
, the largest
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unemployment
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rate
is 8. 1 % who are less than a
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high
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school
diploma. To sum up, comparing both the
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graphs
indicates
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
earnings from
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Professional
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degree
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citizens
and Lowest
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unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Professional
and Doctoral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holders
.
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IELTS academic The Graphs below illustrates the unemployment rate of citizens and average salary per week in the year 2015.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
207 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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