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number of male and female students studying in Canadian Universities from 1992 to 2007 i

number of male and female students studying in Canadian Universities from 1992 to 2007 i bDgG3
The picture illustrates the number of graduates who are studying in Universities in Canada from the year 1992 to 2007. Firstly, it is clearly evident that the students graduating from Canadian Universities has increased exponentially during the specified period. However, from the graph it is visible that more number of female students were graduated in these years when compared to the male students. Secondly, from 1992 to till 1996 there is increase in quantity of pupils and then it dropped a little after 1996 and remained stable till 2002. After 2002 again their is a gradual rise till 2007 in both the sexes. 70, 000 men studied in Universities during the year 1992 and in 2006 the figure crossed 90, 000. In the case of Females 100, 000 graduates were existing in 1992 by 2006 50, 000 additional students were graduated. From the graph we can confirm that female students were educated more in Universities rather than male students.
The picture illustrates the number of graduates who are studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
in Canada from the year 1992 to 2007.

Firstly
, it is
clearly
evident that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
graduating from Canadian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
has increased
exponentially
during the specified period.
However
, from the graph it is visible that more number of female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were graduated
in these years when compared to the male students.

Secondly
, from 1992 to till 1996 there is increase in quantity of pupils and then it dropped a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
after 1996 and remained stable till 2002.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
2002 again
Did you mean "there"?
their
is a gradual rise till 2007 in both the sexes. 70, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
studied in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
during the year 1992 and in 2006 the figure crossed 90, 000.

In the case of Females 100, 000 graduates were existing in 1992 by 2006 50, 000 additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were graduated
.

From the graph we can confirm that female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were educated
more in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
rather
than male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
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IELTS academic number of male and female students studying in Canadian Universities from 1992 to 2007 i

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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