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Number of adults participating in major sports in 1997 and 2007.

Number of adults participating in major sports in 1997 and 2007. ELAmQ
The given bar graph presents about the count of matured people who participated to the various types of sports in 1997 and 2017. Overall, most adults has participated to the gentle walking in both years, while the basketball and cricket have significantly lowest number of adults participating than other sports in both years. adults who presented aerobic remained the same in both years. In 1997, Half of adults have participated to gentle walking, However it has increased by 5 in 2017. football and hiking have same number of adults participating in 1997 and 2007, at just nearly to 35 and just below 50 respectively. when the number of Adults who presented to aerobic remained the same in 1997 and 2017 and about 35, Adults who have jogging at just below 35, However it has increased to 35 in 2017. Basketball has the lowest amount than other sports in 1997, at just below 10, But it has increased to just over 20 number of adults in 2017. The adults who have participated to cricket at nearly to 30, but it decreased by around 20 of adults in 2007.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph presents about the count of matured
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
The usual preposition for "participated" is "in" not "to". Revise: "participated in".
participated to
the various types of sports in 1997 and 2017.

Overall
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
has
The usual preposition for "participated" is "in" not "to". Revise: "participated in".
participated to
the gentle walking in both years, while the basketball and cricket have
significantly
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
participating than other sports in both years.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
presented aerobic remained the same in both years.

In 1997, Half of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participated
to gentle walking,
However
it has increased by 5 in 2017.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
football
and hiking have same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
participating in 1997 and 2007, at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
nearly
to 35 and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 50
respectively
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
presented to aerobic remained the same in 1997 and 2017 and about 35,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have jogging at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 35,
However
it has increased to 35 in 2017.

Basketball has the lowest amount than other sports in 1997, at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 10,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it has increased to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
in 2017. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participated
to cricket at
nearly
to 30,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it decreased by around 20 of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
in 2007.
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IELTS academic Number of adults participating in major sports in 1997 and 2007.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
187 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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