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academic writing task 1. The numer of attendance and price of entartainment venues

academic writing task 1. The numer of attendance and price of entartainment venues ldaQQ

The charts examine the presence of entertainment facilities and entrance fees in 2009. Overall, the most visited entertainment venue was cinema in that period of time while the less visited place was sport facilities. In regard to the admission price, the cost of cinema lower than the cost of football games. The number of people who are attend sport halls in 2009 was not huge, approximately 150 individuals. However, an amount of theme park visitors bigger than sport visitors, it is around 350 people. Furthermore, at that time about 1050 people attended cinemas. According to the admission price chart, the most expensive tickets were football games – AFL, NRL, NRU. The cheapest ticket of them is NRU which price is 71 dollar per person, but family ticket worth 280 dollar for four people. Then, theme parks fare is almost the same as a ticket NRU (71 dollar), although, family fare cost 135 dollars. The audience of basketball game pay $36 cheaper than a theme park while cricket game spectators pay $24. People spend five times as less money on cinemas as on football games.

The charts examine the presence of entertainment facilities and entrance fees in 2009.

Overall
, the most visited entertainment venue was cinema in that period of time while the less visited place was sport facilities. In regard to the admission price, the cost of cinema lower than the cost of football games.

The number of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 who are Consider using a past participle here: "attended".attended
attend
 sport halls in 2009 was not huge, approximately 150 individuals. However
, an amount of theme park visitors bigger than sport visitors, it is around 350 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
. Furthermore
, at that time about 1050 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 attended cinemas.

According to the admission price chart, the most expensive You use this word too often, consider replacing it withlicensecertificatecouponadmissionreceiptrecord
tickets
 were football You use this word too often, consider replacing it withplaysportbusiness
games
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.—
–
 AFL, NRL, NRU. The cheapest You use this word too often, consider replacing it withlicensecertificatecouponadmissionreceiptrecord
ticket
 of them is NRU which price is 71 Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".dollars
dollar
 per person, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 family You use this word too often, consider replacing it withlicensecertificatecouponadmissionreceiptrecord
ticket
 worth 280 Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".dollars
dollar
 for four You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
. Then, theme parks fare is almost the same as a You use this word too often, consider replacing it withlicensecertificatecouponadmissionreceiptrecord
ticket
 NRU (71 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcurrencygreenback
dollar)
, although, family fare cost 135 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcurrencygreenback
dollars
. The audience of basketball game pay $36 cheaper than a theme park while cricket game spectators pay $24. You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
People
 spend five times as less money on cinemas as on football You use this word too often, consider replacing it withplaysportbusiness
games
. 