Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

n this modern society, bachelor degrees are considered to be more essential than hands-on experience by some employers when they are looking for new employees

n this modern society, bachelor degrees are considered to be more essential than hands-on experience by some employers when they are looking for new employees PEmPw
In this modern society, bachelor degrees are considered to be more essential than hands-on experience by some employers when they are looking for new employees. I still believe this it a negative development. There are many factors that explain why employers prefer acedemic degrees to life experience. Firstly, in many profession, formal academic degrees are the first thing employers look for when they are searching for new applicants. In oder to be a doctor, engineer or a teacher, we have to have theoretical knowledge about our fields as well as spend a lot of time practice and carry out experiments. Secondly, this trend might save time for employers when they recruiting new employees. Candicates have bachelor degrees would be able to work right after they get recruited, and non-academic degrees have to train and learn to work properly. Due to this, that time saved could be use effectively in more important things. However, my opinon is this is a negative development because academic and non-academic should recive equal chance in the recruitment process. This is because many people decide to work right after graduate high school rather than attending tertiary education to obtain real life skills and pratical exeprerience. Moreover, after a long time of working people without academic degree could easily finished assigned tasks. For an example, Bill gates dropped out of Havard and still became one of the most succesful person in the world without any formal academic education. In conclusion, I think that academic or non-academic are equally deserve in recruitment process, and I believe that this trend is negative devolepment.
In this modern society, bachelor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
are considered
to be more essential than hands-on experience by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
when they are looking for new employees. I
still
believe this
Did you mean "is" or "it is"?
it
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
prefer
Possible spelling mistake found.
acedemic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
to life experience.
Firstly
, in
Possible agreement error. The noun profession seems to be countable; consider using: "many professions".
many profession
, formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
are the
first
thing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
look for when they are searching for new applicants. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
oder
to be a doctor, engineer or a teacher, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
have theoretical knowledge about our fields
as well
as spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
practice and carry out experiments.
Secondly
, this trend might save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
when
Did you mean "they're recruiting", "they are recruiting", or "they were recruiting"?
they recruiting
new employees.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Candicates
have bachelor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
would be able to work right after they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
recruited, and non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
train and learn to work
properly
. Due to this, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saved could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
effectively
in more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things.

However
, my
Possible spelling mistake found.
opinon
is this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
and non-academic should
Possible spelling mistake found.
recive
equal chance in the recruitment process. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
decide to work right after graduate high school
rather
than attending tertiary education to obtain real life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
pratical
Possible spelling mistake found.
exeprerience
.
Moreover
, after a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
could
easily
finished assigned tasks. For an example,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Bill gates
dropped out of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Havard
and
still
became one of the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
succesful
person in the world without any formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
education.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
or non-academic are
equally
Consider using a past participle here: "deserved".
deserve
in recruitment process, and I believe that this trend is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
Possible spelling mistake found.
devolepment
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic n this modern society, bachelor degrees are considered to be more essential than hands-on experience by some employers when they are looking for new employees

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • n this modern society, bachelor degrees are considered to be more essential than hands-on experience by some employers when they are looking for new employees