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music purchased by CD, download

music purchased by CD, download Yya2B
The line chart illustrates the proportion of three different ways in which people consume music between the time period ranging from 2011 to 2018. As of 2011 more than 53% of the purchases were on CDs, followed by music downloads (roughly 35%) with streaming being the least preferred method. However, sales on CDs went exponentially down to approximately a quarter of the total users in 2018. On the contrary, Streams experimented a gradual and pronounced increase from almost 5% in 2011 to more than 40% seven years later. It is interesting to note that whereas streams and CDs show a monotonous trend, downloads gradually rose until they peaked at over 43% in 2014 and then they went down to slightly under 30% by 2018. From 2011 to 2018 CD purchases changed from being the most popular way to consume music to the be the least preferred one. Music on streaming experienced the contrary effect, whereas downloads showed an oscillating pattern.
The line chart illustrates the proportion of three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways in which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
between the time period ranging from 2011 to 2018.

As of 2011 more than 53% of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
were on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
, followed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
downloads (roughly 35%) with streaming being the least preferred method.
However
, sales on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
went
exponentially
down to approximately a quarter of the total users in 2018.
On the contrary
, Streams experimented a gradual and pronounced increase from almost 5% in 2011 to more than 40% seven years later.

It is interesting to note that whereas streams and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a monotonous trend, downloads
gradually
rose until they peaked at over 43% in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
2014 and
then they went down to
slightly
under 30% by 2018.

From 2011 to 2018 CD
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
from being the most popular way to consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to
Please check whether a word is missing between 'the' and 'be' or whether 'the' is the correct determiner.
the
be the least preferred one.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
on streaming experienced the contrary effect, whereas downloads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an oscillating pattern.
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IELTS academic music purchased by CD, download

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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