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Museum visitors numbers,2000-2005

Museum visitors numbers,2000-2005 lLqOw
The given bar graph illustrates the number of tourists, who visited to three museums between 2000 and 2005Overall, what stands out from the graph is that there were a considerable upward trends in the number of National museum in New York significant falls and went up in during the period. Another interesting point is that Edo museum in Tokyo was the most popular in 2000, whereas in 2005, National museum in China was toured more than the others. Going into details, as regards National museum in China, the number of tourists started just 6 millions, following this there was a significant growth during in the period at 16 millions in 2005, which meant that it was the most popular museum at that period, with respect to Met museum in New York, the number of tourists began at 12 millions in 2000, while there was sharply fall at 6 millions in 2001, but the number of tourists continute rise significant at 14 millions in 2005. And from 2000 to 2001, Edo museum in Tokyo used to the most popular at 14 millions tourists, but after there was a dramatic went down at 6 millions in 2003 and at this point there was increases against 10 millions in 2005.
The
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given
bar graph illustrates the
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number
of
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tourists
, who visited to three
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museums
between 2000 and 2005Overall, what stands out from the graph is that there were a considerable upward trends in the
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number
of National
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museum
in New York significant falls and went up in during the period. Another interesting point is that
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Edo
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museum
in Tokyo was the most popular in 2000, whereas in 2005, National
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museum
in China
was toured
more than the others. Going into
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details
, as regards National
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museum
in China, the
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number
of
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tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
6
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millions
, following this there was a significant growth during in the period at 16
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millions
in 2005, which meant that it was the most popular
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museum
at that period, with respect to Met
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museum
in New York, the
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number
of
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tourists
began at 12
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millions
in 2000, while there was
sharply
fall at 6
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millions
in 2001,
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but
the
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number
of
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tourists
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continute
rise significant at 14
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millions
in 2005. And from 2000 to 2001,
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Edo
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museum
in Tokyo
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the most popular at 14
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millions
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tourists
,
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but
after there was a dramatic went down at 6
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millions
in 2003 and at this point
Did you mean "there were increases"?
there was increases
against 10
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millions
in 2005.
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IELTS academic Museum visitors numbers,2000-2005

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
207 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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