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Task 1 private use of Internet access, PC, Mobile phone and CD player in the UK from 1996 to 2003.

Task 1 private use of Internet access, PC, Mobile phone and CD player in the UK from 1996 to 2003. E3Q9q
The line graph provides information about the private use of Internet access, PC, Mobile phone and CD player in the UK from 1996 to 2003. Overall, the general trend of the four elements in the study was upward over the period shown. Moreover, CD player gained the highest proportion in domestic access while the lowest was the Internet. In 1996, domestic access to CD player was 60% and continued to rise gradually to about 70% in 1998, in which witnessed the advent of Internet with the figure being recorded as over 10%. From the 1998 onwards, the proportion of internet access was increased rapidly and rocketed at approximately 50% in 2002/2003 but still lower than other modes of modern technology. On the other hand, the mobile phone’s usage started with the lower percentage at 18% usage in comparison with home computer. However, it climbed sharply to 70% usage by 2003, surpassing home computers at the beginning of 1999. It is noticeable that the modern technology access in homes in the UK was increased steadily from 1996 to 2003 and the most popular device at that time was CD player.
The line graph provides information about the private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
, PC, Mobile phone and CD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
in the UK from 1996 to 2003.

Overall
, the general trend of the four elements in the study was upward over the period shown.
Moreover
, CD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
gained the highest proportion in domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
while the lowest was the Internet.

In 1996, domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to CD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
was 60% and continued to rise
gradually
to about 70% in 1998, in which witnessed the advent of Internet with the figure
being recorded
as over 10%. From the 1998 onwards, the proportion of internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
was increased
rapidly
and rocketed at approximately 50% in 2002/2003
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
lower than other modes of modern technology.

On the other hand
, the mobile phone’s usage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with the lower percentage at 18% usage
in comparison
with home computer.
However
, it climbed
sharply
to 70% usage by 2003, surpassing home computers at the beginning of 1999.

It is noticeable that the modern technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
in homes in the UK
was increased
steadily
from 1996 to 2003 and the most popular device at that time was CD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
.
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IELTS academic Task 1 private use of Internet access, PC, Mobile phone and CD player in the UK from 1996 to 2003.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
189 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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