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Maps changes in the road access to a city hospital in 2007 and 2010

Maps changes in the road access to a city hospital in 2007 and 2010 alXPP
The two maps given illustrates the changes to and around the city hospital road in 2007 and 2010 There are quite a few changes in the present layout. Initially on either side of road there were bus stops and a single entry into the hospital from the only available car parking for general public as well as the staff. Hospital road and the City road have a X junction. On the other hand in the recent map there are 2 entrances, from 2 different car parking for the staff and the public. Instead of a single hospital road, there are two run about a, to minimise the increasing congestion. On one side of the hospital road there is a single bus station connecting the 2 roundabouts. Across the hospital road there is staff car parking. Civil car parking is to the east of the hospital. To sum it up, the new plan is well organised with two entrances and two roundabouts and a better segregated car parking for hospital staff and the general public.
The two maps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
illustrates the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to and around the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
in 2007 and 2010

There are quite a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the present layout.
Initially
on either side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
there were bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
and a single entry into the
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hospital
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
for
Consider using "public".
general public
as well
as the
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staff
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
and the City
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road
have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
X junction.

On the other hand
in the recent map there are 2 entrances, from 2
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
and the public.
Instead
of a single
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hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
, there are two run about
Did you forget something after 'a'?
a,
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the increasing congestion. On one side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
there is a single bus station connecting the 2 roundabouts. Across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
there is
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staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
. Civil
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car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
is to the east of the hospital.

To sum it up, the new plan is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well organised
with two entrances and two roundabouts and a better segregated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
and the
Consider using "public".
general public
.
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IELTS academic Maps changes in the road access to a city hospital in 2007 and 2010

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
174 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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