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a figure showing the different processes of brick manufacturing

a figure showing the different processes of brick manufacturing ORWAG
According to the figure in the test paper the brick manufacturing process is composed of 7 major phases, this set of processes start with digging and end with delivery, so in order to clarify what is happening in each phase, the figure presenting this different phases is gonna help us a lot, to clarify and get more details about what is happening in each step during the brick manufacturing. As we mentioned above we start by collecting resources using a digger and a clay, this step is followed by another important phase, it is in this phase where we extract only the needed elements to produce a brick, in this step a grid metal and a roller is a must, the output of the last mentioned step is water plus sands, this two is gonna be passed either to a wire cutter or a mould, we can see that the wire cutter and mould can give us a different shapes but this two will always produce a brick in the end, after this we can put this bricks in a drying oven for 24 hours to 48 hours, this step is followed by another, where we can put this brick in a different temperatures, moderate, high, and then a cooling chamber for 48 to 72 hours, note that a moderate temperature is between 200 to 980 celsius, a high temperature is between 870 and 1300 celsius, in the end this bricks is gonna be packed and delivered.
According to the figure in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
paper the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brick
manufacturing process
is composed
of 7 major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phases
, this set of processes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with digging and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
with delivery,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in order to clarify what is happening in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phase
, the figure presenting this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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phases
is
The word 'gonna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
gonna
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us a lot, to clarify and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about what is happening in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brick
manufacturing.

As we mentioned above we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
by collecting resources using a digger and a clay, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
is followed
by another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phase
, it is in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phase
where we extract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the needed elements to produce a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brick
, in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
a grid metal and a roller is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
, the output of the last mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
is water plus sands, this two is
The word 'gonna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
gonna
be passed
either to a wire cutter or a
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the wire cutter and
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
can give us a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "shape"?
shapes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this two will always produce a
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brick
in the
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end
, after this we can put this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
in a drying oven for 24 hours to 48 hours, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
is followed
by another, where we can put this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brick
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "temperature"?
temperatures
, moderate, high, and then a cooling chamber for 48 to 72 hours, note that a moderate temperature is
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 200 and 980".
between 200 to 980
Possible spelling mistake found.
celsius
, a high temperature is between 870 and 1300
Possible spelling mistake found.
celsius
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
is
The word 'gonna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
gonna
be packed
and delivered.

IELTS academic a figure showing the different processes of brick manufacturing

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
247 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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