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Maps and city development

The top diagram shows the architecture of current day view of the islip town and the below diagram shows the proposed architecture in the coming future. This report highlights its similarities and differences. School, park, shops and housing are part of current plan and these are included in the proposed plans as well. New housing, Dual Carriageway, bus station and shopping center are some of the notable and newly proposed changes. A Dual Carriage way planned to get constructed all around the town as there a single lane of transport in the city as of now. School area which is located as the south-west of city is little widened compared to current plan as part of development. As per the current plan shop are available at sides of the main road and these are changed, and all the shops are made available at the one of the Road facing north.
The top diagram
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shows
the architecture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
day view of the
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islip
town and the below diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the proposed architecture in the coming future. This report highlights its similarities and differences.

School, park, shops and housing are part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
and these
are included
in the proposed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
as well
. New housing, Dual Carriageway, bus station and shopping center are
If the text is a generality, ‘of the’ is not necessary.
some of the
notable and
newly
proposed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.

A Dual Carriage way planned to
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get
constructed all around the town as
It seems that a verb is missing.
there
a single lane of transport in the city as of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. School area which
is located
as the south-west of city is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
widened compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
as part of development. As per the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
shop are available at sides of the main road and these are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, and all the shops
are made
available at the one of the Road facing north.
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IELTS academic Maps and city development

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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