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Map shows the changes happened in the island called Paradise

Map shows the changes happened in the island called Paradise Qwm63
The rendered maps depicts the changes that happened to an island called Paradise in the past and present. Overall, it is observed that scientific research station has been replaced for swimming pool and this area converted into hotel complex whereas, natural spring area totally changed. Scrutinizing the map it is witnessed that the east side increased from its extreme level. The scientific research station has been for swimming pool replace and hotel also take place of research station. Additionally, the new restaurant is built in place of natural spring and new roads as well as a round about is made, barbecue also take place there. Furthermore, in the southern part of Paradise Island the cycle path is constructed and there is also a new cafe opened in west of area. Eventually, its appearance seems as a scenic lookout and other things remain same.
The rendered maps
depicts
the
changes
that happened to an island called Paradise in the past and present.

Overall
, it
is observed
that scientific research station has
been replaced
for swimming pool and this area converted into hotel complex whereas, natural spring area
totally
changed
.

Scrutinizing the map it
is witnessed
that the east side increased from its extreme level. The scientific research station has been for swimming pool replace and hotel
also
take place of research station.
Additionally
, the new restaurant
is built
in place of natural spring and new roads
as well
as a round about
is made
, barbecue
also
take place there.

Furthermore
, in the southern part of Paradise Island the cycle path
is constructed
and there is
also
a new
cafe
opened in west of area.
Eventually
, its appearance seems as a scenic lookout and other things remain same.
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IELTS academic Map shows the changes happened in the island called Paradise

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
143 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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