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Despite the increased ability to contact others, people are feeling more isolated than ever. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions could be taken?

Despite the increased ability to contact others, people are feeling more isolated than ever. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions could be taken? wKd0E
Nowadays, with the technology advancements, many electronic devices has been developed to serve the communication needs. However, people are feeling more isolated than ever before, despite their greater ability to communicate with others. There is a various causes behind this, but a number of measures could be solved this. The most cause is the increase of technological devices, for example, causes individuals to devote too much attention to them. People are excessively concentrated on electronic devices such as phone, computer, resulting in a lack of engagement among those around us, making us unable to integrate. For instance, my neighbor, he always focus on gaming computer, so he doesn't interact with no one in my hometown. Besides, they are frequently subjected to nasty social media comments that make them feel stressed and confused. According to Vietcreate magazines, many young individuals suffer from depression and commit suicide as a result of the contempt they receive from everyone. To solve this problem, stop comparing yourself to other people. Remember that everyone goes through suffering and adversity in life. If you are wondering why these people happier than you, happiness is determined by a person's mindset, not by their outward circumstances. Instead, let us live optimistically, and take use of our advantages. Besides, we should not contact too much on technological devices, instead of contact more about people around you. To conclude, the most problem is the technology advancements, we can solve it by stop comparing yourself to other people and not focus too much electronic devices.
Nowadays, with the technology advancements,
many
electronic
devices
has
been developed
to serve the communication needs.
However
,
people
are feeling more isolated than ever
before
, despite their greater ability to communicate with others. There is a various causes behind this,
but
a number of measures could
be solved
this.

The most cause is the increase of technological
devices
,
for example
, causes individuals to devote too much attention to them.
People
are
excessively
concentrated on electronic
devices
such as phone, computer, resulting in a lack of engagement among those around us, making us unable to integrate.
For instance
, my neighbor, he always
focus
on gaming computer,
so
he doesn't interact with no one in my hometown.
Besides
, they are
frequently
subjected to nasty social media comments that
make
them feel
stressed
and confused. According to
Vietcreate
magazines,
many
young individuals suffer from depression and commit suicide
as a result
of the contempt they receive from everyone.

To solve this problem,
stop
comparing yourself to other
people
. Remember that everyone goes through suffering and adversity in life. If you are wondering why these
people
happier than you, happiness
is determined
by a person's mindset, not by their outward circumstances.
Instead
,
let
us
live
optimistically
, and take
use
of our advantages.
Besides
, we should not contact too much on technological
devices
,
instead
of contact more about
people
around you.

To conclude
, the most problem is the technology advancements, we can solve it by
stop
comparing yourself to other
people
and not focus too much electronic
devices
.
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IELTS academic Despite the increased ability to contact others, people are feeling more isolated than ever. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions could be taken?

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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