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Map comparison of the City Hospital

Map comparison of the City Hospital yX9eJ
The first thing I notice from the map of the City Hospital from 2007 is that it shows one car park available for both the public and the staff. This may cause the car park to be full at a fast rate. Also, the City Hospital only has one entrance. This creates the possibility for lack of space for vehicles that are large in size. Additionally, both sides of the road have a total of six bus stops, which at times could cause traffic. The most notable difference from 2007 is that the map of the City Hospital of 2010 now shows two separate car parks for the public and the staff members. The public car park is located to the east of the hospital while the area for the staff is to the south. On the west, there is a designated area for the bus station. This makes it easier for both buses and other vehicles to get in and out of the hospital. In addition, two roundabouts have been added to effectively connect the new areas, thus solving the possible problem of heavy traffic that might have been present in 2007.
The
first
thing I notice from the map of the City
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
from 2007 is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
available for both the public and the staff. This may cause the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
to be full at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
rate.
Also
, the City
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has one entrance. This creates the possibility for lack of space for vehicles that are
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
large in size
.
Additionally
, both sides of the road have a total of six bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
, which at times could cause traffic.

The most notable difference from 2007 is that the map of the City
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
of 2010
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
two separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
for the public and the staff members. The public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
is located
to the east of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
while the area for the staff is to the south. On the west, there is a designated area for the bus station. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier for both buses and other vehicles to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in and out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
.
In addition
, two roundabouts have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to
effectively
connect the new areas,
thus
solving the possible problem of heavy traffic that might have been present in 2007.
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IELTS academic Map comparison of the City Hospital

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
193 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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