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Many scholars took art seriously but now people’s attitudes changed. They take science, technology and business more seriously than arts.What do you think are the causes of this?What can be done to draw people’s attention to art ?

Many scholars took art seriously but now people’s attitudes changed. They take science, technology and business more seriously than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art? yLaeJ
It is argued that many colleges focus art more seriously because they do not want to loose it. At the same time, die to modern days, people take science, technology and business more seriously rather than arts. Initially, art is a creative activity that expresses imaginative or technical skills, although it is a broadest sense and a form of communication. But, nowadays, people’s attitudes changed due to new inventions. In 21st century, widespread creation of technology people become more energetic to learn new things. However, they flourishing their future. The foremost reason people skipped art is people are too averice nowadays. People always pursuing the money therefore, they take new ideas more seriously. People are too concerned about future. They think that only new technology will play pivotal role in their life. People should take both arts and new technology. Many people never know about arts in today’s life because they always focus on new creation. People should continue the art skills which is more useful to them. Art plays curcial role in people’s life, there are enormous advantages among it. All scholars should imparting arts and technology tandemly. Hence, there is no demarcation line to skipped the art. It is the wise decision, if scholars took both topic seriously. They motivate students to create new things and also placed the environment positive which helped them to expressing their feelings, thoughts through arts. Furthermore, it flourishing their interests in arts. In conclusion, the art is an act of depict their feelings thoughts and ideas which is more beneficial to people.
It
is argued
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
colleges focus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seriously
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not want to
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
it. At the same time,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
to modern days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take science,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and business more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seriously
rather
than arts.

Initially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a creative activity that expresses imaginative or technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, although it is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
broadest sense and a form of communication.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
attitudes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
inventions. In 21st century, widespread creation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become more energetic to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things.
However
,
Did you mean "they're flourishing", "they are flourishing", or "they were flourishing"?
they flourishing
their future. The foremost reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
skipped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are too
Possible spelling mistake found.
averice
nowadays.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
always pursuing the money
therefore
, they take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seriously
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are too concerned about future. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will play pivotal role in their life.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should take both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
never know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they always focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
creation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should continue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which is more useful to them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
plays
Possible spelling mistake found.
curcial
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life, there are enormous advantages among it. All scholars should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "impart"
imparting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
Possible spelling mistake found.
tandemly
.
Hence
, there is no demarcation line
Did you mean "to skip"?
to skipped
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. It is the wise decision, if scholars took both topic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seriously
. They motivate students to create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things and
also
placed the environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them to expressing their feelings, thoughts through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
Furthermore
,
Did you mean "it's flourishing", "it is flourishing", or "it was flourishing"?
it flourishing
their interests in arts.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is an act of depict their feelings thoughts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
which is more beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS academic Many scholars took art seriously but now people’s attitudes changed. They take science, technology and business more seriously than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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