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Advantages and disadvantages of health diet

Advantages and disadvantages of health diet EqVnR
Many people, especially women want to have a beautiful figure. But they don't need a healthy diet for that. Nowadays most people whom I know get lazy. In the first place, it is the lack of exercise that causes many people to become obese. In my view, despite some obvious hurdles, it is easier than ever for people to be healthy and fit today. The main obstacles are related to fitness and technology. A few decades ago people led many active lives. The advent of computer technology generally and the smartphone, in particular, has precipitated more passive lifestyles globally. These days everywhere fast food has become more common recent years. Fast food consists largely of preservatives. Chemicals and addictive fats, sugars, and carbohydrates. Even eating a single fast-food meal a day has been shown in numerous independent research studies to increase the risk of diseases ranging from diabetes and cardiovascular disease to cancer and obesity. In my opinion, people must take some responsibility for their diet and health. To lose weight effectively and over a long period, one has to learn to eat healthily and to carry out the sport regularly. A healthy diet can change a person's life for the better. Dieting plays a substantial role in controlling obesity and youngsters are more attracted to this technique of weight loss. It helps them in reducing weight and also makes their body sound and finally helps them gain a good shape. In addition to this, dieting also helps in the proper working of various organisms in the human body. People with a healthy diet and lifestyle spend better life than others. Therefore dieting impedes the progress of the body and increases the risk of attacking germs and viruses.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
women want to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
figure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they don't need a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet for that. Nowadays most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whom I know
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lazy. In the
first
place, it is the lack of exercise that causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become obese. In my view, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obvious hurdles, it is easier than ever for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and fit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. The main obstacles
are related
to fitness and technology. A few decades ago
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
led
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
active
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. The advent of computer technology
generally
and the smartphone,
in particular
, has precipitated more passive lifestyles globally. These days everywhere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food has become more common recent years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
food consists
largely
of preservatives. Chemicals and addictive fats, sugars, and carbohydrates. Even eating a single
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food meal a day has
been shown
in numerous independent research studies to increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of diseases ranging from diabetes and cardiovascular disease to cancer and obesity. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
responsibility for their diet and health. To lose weight
effectively
and over a long period, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
learn to eat
healthily
and to carry out the sport
regularly
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
a person's life for the better. Dieting plays a substantial role in controlling obesity and youngsters are more attracted to this technique of weight loss. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in reducing weight and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their body sound and
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them gain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
shape.
In addition
to this, dieting
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in the proper working of various organisms in the human body.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet and lifestyle spend better life than others.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
dieting impedes the progress of the body and increases the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of attacking germs and viruses.
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IELTS academic Advantages and disadvantages of health diet

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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