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Many manufature and drinks has more sugar, increase price reduce intake , do you agree and disagree

Many manufature and drinks has more sugar, increase price reduce intake, do you agree and disagree bxVLW
In recent times, many foods and drinking products has large quantity of sugar which is directly affecting public health. Even though our society preferring to have this kind of products for refreshment and that taste. There are many reasons from public to have these kinds of products, mostly due to temptation. so, there must be some solution to avoid those kinds of products. Increasing the products price could be one of the major reasons to avoid taking these kinds of products. As per my view I do partial agree this topic because this is not only solution, apart from this some health awareness is needed from government and some social workers. Firstly, people should know about these drinks in which aspect it is affecting our health for these off courses repeated awareness is needed from public health department. For Instance, because of taking these drinks, even a young age person also gaining weight and it leads to obese. Once the person become obese so many heath issues will follow. In that I could say Diabetes comes first followed by Blood pressure and many more. To avoid those kind of health issues, people should take responsibility by their own and raising price also a good solution, but this will be stopped. Only a middle class and lower middle class could not afford so maybe they will not buy, but to reach people this option not affecting much. Finally, the solutions is not only increasing the price, other than that lot of medical awareness is required and in addition to that manufacturing companies can write in that product drinking can or food products mention like consuming is injurious to health it contains more sugar. In conclusion, according to my view I do partial agree this topic because it needs some more initiative also to reduce the number of people who prefer those drinks and food items to improve public health.
In recent times,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foods and drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
has large quantity of sugar which is
directly
affecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Even though
our society preferring to have this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for refreshment and that taste.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
to have these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
mostly
due to temptation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
to avoid those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
price could be one of the major reasons to avoid taking these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of products.

As per my view I do partial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
this topic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
, apart from this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
awareness
is needed
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social workers.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should know about these drinks in which aspect it is affecting our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
for these off courses repeated awareness
is needed
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
department.

For Instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of taking these drinks, even a young age person
also
gaining weight and it leads to obese. Once the person become obese
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
heath issues will follow. In that I could say Diabetes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
first
followed by Blood pressure and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.

To avoid those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take responsibility by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and raising price
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
a middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and lower middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
could not afford
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
maybe they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
this option not affecting much.

Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increasing the price, other than that lot of medical awareness
is required
and
in addition
to that manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can write in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
drinking can or food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
mention like consuming is injurious to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
it contains more sugar.

In conclusion
, according to my view I do partial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
this topic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more initiative
also
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who prefer those drinks and food items to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
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IELTS academic Many manufature and drinks has more sugar, increase price reduce intake, do you agree and disagree

Academic
  American English
8 paragraphs
318 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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