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Illustrate informatio of the bar chart

Illustrate informatio of the bar chart 1AG07
The bar chart compares the time spent by the 10-to-15-year-olds in two activities, namely chatting online and playing video games. From an overall perspective, it is immediately evident that playing video games was slightly more popular than chatting on the internet. However, completely different trends can be seen if we look at the specific figures for boys and girls. As can be seen from the chart, it is clearly that boys from 10 to 15 have a tendency of playing on games over chatting online. Specifically, the percentage of boys playing computer games was nearly 85%, while that of boys chatting on the internet was only 55%. Furthermore, the majority of boys play on their consoles for 1 to 3 hours each day and 10% do this activity for 4 hours or more. Otherwise, girls prefer chatting online. Close 70% of 10-to-15-year-old girl engage in online conversation each day, compared to 50% of that take part in playing video games. Another noticeable feature is that most of the girls spent less than an hour for playing on console per day, whereas that spent one hour or more for chatting online and nearly 10% chat for four hours or more.
The bar chart compares the time spent by the 10-to-15-year-olds in two activities,
namely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chatting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
video games.

From an
overall
perspective, it is immediately evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
was
slightly
more popular than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chatting
on the internet.
However
, completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
trends can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
if we look at the specific figures for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and girls.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart, it is
clearly
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
from 10 to 15 have a tendency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chatting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
Specifically
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
was
nearly
85%, while that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chatting
on the internet was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
55%.
Furthermore
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
play on their consoles for 1 to 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
each day and 10% do this activity for 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
or more.

Otherwise
, girls prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chatting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. Close 70% of 10-to-15-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
girl engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
conversation each day, compared to 50% of that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Another noticeable feature is that most of the girls spent less than an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
on console per day, whereas that spent one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
or more for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chatting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and
nearly
10% chat for four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
or more.

IELTS academic Illustrate informatio of the bar chart

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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