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male’s proportion participants in senior development positions in three various companies in six different years with five years interval, starting from 1980.

male’s proportion participants in senior development positions in three various companies in six different years with five years interval, starting from 1980. gW6Ml
The given bar chart illustrates the information about the male’s proportion participants in senior development positions in three various companies in six different years with five years interval, starting from 1980. Overall, there was an upward trend of men participating in three companies. Furthermore, the most significant difference in the figures between the three companies was in 2010. According to the chart, it can be seen that in 1980, Apple company represented the highest figure for man senior development position, approximately 15%. This was followed by Microsoft company, just under 10%; IBM company, only 2% which was the least amount of three companies. After a decade, this rate of the apple company dropped slightly. On the contrary, the proportion of the Microsoft company went up minimally, while it gradually increased for the IBM company which it surpassed the figure for Microsoft company. Moreover, with a similar sharp acceleration of the rate of the IBM, Between 1995 and 2010, its amount reached more than 60%, making it the most man staff in that position. There was a similar increase for the Microsoft company, rising from just over 10% in 1995 to over 40% in 2010. Although the figure for The Apple company experienced a mere fall in 2000, it rose slightly to approximately 25% in 2010.
The
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given
bar chart illustrates the information about the male’s proportion participants in senior development positions in three various
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companies
in six
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different
years with five years interval, starting from 1980.
Overall
, there was an upward trend of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
participating in three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
Furthermore
, the most significant difference in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
between the three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
was in 2010.

According to the chart, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in 1980, Apple
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company
represented the highest
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figure
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
senior development position, approximately 15%. This
was followed
by Microsoft
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company
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 10%; IBM
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company
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2% which was the least amount of three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. After a decade, this rate of the apple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
dropped
slightly
.
On the contrary
, the proportion of the Microsoft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
went up
minimally
, while it
gradually
increased for the IBM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
which it surpassed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for Microsoft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

Moreover
, with a similar sharp acceleration of the rate of the IBM, Between 1995 and 2010, its amount reached more than 60%, making it the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
staff in that position. There was a similar increase for the Microsoft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, rising from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 10% in 1995 to over 40% in 2010. Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for The Apple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
experienced a mere fall in 2000, it rose
slightly
to approximately 25% in 2010.
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IELTS academic male’s proportion participants in senior development positions in three various companies in six different years with five years interval, starting from 1980.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
215 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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