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the process of desertification

the process of desertification Jweaw
The drawing displays the process of desertification in eight parts how the forest was converted into the desert in eight phases. The first drawing illustrates many trees and plants that were there at that phase, The send drain is about how a man cut down the forest's trees and plants and made clean that jungle. The third phase has some animals who eat grass and make houses on that land. The fourth phase has many people gathered and start living there with their animals. The fifth phase displays many people were added to that place and the greenery of that land diminished with many people and animals. The sixth phase displays rain over the ruff land without any storage amenities. The seventh phase displays how sun rays reflected into the air and make the environment dry without any trees so the temperature increased of that land. The eighth phase shows how people had to go towards the city because of the lack of many facilities there. Overall, There are the people of that place are responsible for desertification for many reasons as shown above.
The drawing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
displays
the process of desertification in eight parts how the forest
was converted
into the desert in eight phases.

The
first
drawing illustrates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
trees and plants that were there at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phase
, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
drain is about how a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the forest's trees and plants and made clean that jungle.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
third
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phase
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
animals who eat grass and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
on that
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land
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
fourth
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phase
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gathered and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
living there with their animals.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
fifth
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phase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
displays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to that place and the greenery of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
diminished with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and animals.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
sixth
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phase
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displays
rain over the ruff
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land
without any storage amenities.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
seventh
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phase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
displays
how sun rays reflected into the air and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the environment dry without any trees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the temperature increased of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
eighth
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phase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how
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people
had to go towards the city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities there.

Overall
, There are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of that place are responsible for desertification for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons as shown above.
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IELTS academic the process of desertification

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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