Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

How is the cherry jam made? Write your own opinion.

How is the cherry jam made? Write your own opinion. lLy9b
The diagram depicts the basic principles of making cherry jam. The process requires that how is the jam made? First of all, cherry gets riped in the tree. Then, people have to gather it that give to the employees of this enterprise. The employees of this enterprise that takes away to their private section in the work. The cherries are sorted and washed there for to be clean. What is more, the cherries are washed two times there. Following this, the cherries are dried on sunny days that mixed with sugar, lemon juice and water. After that, they are checked for qualities that will be a real cherry jam. If they are not valid that recycle return. When we purchased these products that see its recipe. In the subsequent stage, the cherries go through a heating and cooling process. Finally, the cherries are packed and delivered to their destinations.
The diagram depicts the basic principles of making cherry jam. The process requires that how is the jam made?
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, cherry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "ripped", the past tense form of the verb 'rip'?
riped
in the tree. Then,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
gather it that give to the employees of this enterprise. The employees of this enterprise that takes away to their private section in the work. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cherries
are sorted
and washed there for to be clean.
What is more
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cherries
are washed
two times there. Following this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cherries
are dried
on sunny days that mixed with sugar, lemon juice and water. After that, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
for qualities that will be a real cherry jam.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
they are not valid that recycle return.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
these products that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
its recipe. In the subsequent stage, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cherries
go through a heating and cooling process.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cherries
are packed
and delivered to their destinations.

IELTS academic How is the cherry jam made? Write your own opinion.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • How is the cherry jam made? Write your own opinion.