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Major consumers that are presented on the graph are US, China, Western Europe and Japan, and the Middle East.

Major consumers that are presented on the graph are US, China, Western Europe and Japan, and the Middle East. DwEPA
The graph shows an oil use of major consumers in millions of barrels per day from 2009 to 2030. Major consumers that are presented on the graph are US, China, Western Europe and Japan, and the Middle East. United States use a lot more oil than the others, especially in a four-year period from 2009 to 2015, it was ten barrels per day, but from 2015 up to 2030 the oil use in the US is rapidly decreasing. Western Europe and Japan used four barrels of oil per day in 2009 and they are slightly going down to two barrels per day in 2030. China used two barrels of oil per day in 2009 and they were climbing to three barrels up to 2015. The speed of rising is a bit slowing in the next ten-year period and the oil use will be three and a half barrels per day in 2025. In the next five-year period China will decrease their oil use and in 2030 they will use about three barrels of oil per day. Western Europe and Japan are plunging all the time from 2009 to 2030 from four barrels of oil per day to two barrels. The Middle East are opposite to Western Europe and Japan because their usage of oil is slightly increasing from two barrels in 2009 to three barrels in 2030.
The graph
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shows
an
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oil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of major consumers in millions of
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barrels
per day from 2009 to 2030. Major consumers that
are presented
on the graph are US, China, Western Europe and
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Japan
, and the Middle East.

United States
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use
a lot more
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oil
than the others,
especially
in a four-year period from 2009 to 2015, it was ten
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barrels
per day,
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but
from 2015 up to 2030 the
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oil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in the US is
rapidly
decreasing. Western Europe and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barrels
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
per day in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
2009 and
they are
slightly
going down to two
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barrels
per day in 2030. China
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barrels
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
per day in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
2009 and
they were climbing to three
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barrels
up to 2015. The speed of rising is a bit slowing in the
next
ten-year period and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
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use
will be three and a half
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barrels
per day in 2025. In the
next
five-year period China will decrease their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and in 2030 they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
about three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barrels
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
per day. Western Europe and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
are plunging all the time from 2009 to 2030 from four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barrels
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
per day to two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barrels
. The Middle East are opposite to Western Europe and
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Japan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
is
slightly
increasing from two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barrels
in 2009 to three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barrels
in 2030.

IELTS academic Major consumers that are presented on the graph are US, China, Western Europe and Japan, and the Middle East.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
227 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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