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The line graph illustrates the percentage of inhabitants aged 65 or older than Japan , Sweden , USA in the specific year.

The line graph illustrates the percentage of inhabitants aged 65 or older than Japan, Sweden, USA in the specific year. xm7Xw
The line graph illustrates the percentage of inhabitants aged 65 or older than Japan, Sweden, USA in the specific year. Overall the proportion of eldrly people grew in Japan, Sweden and USA over a hundred period year. Exception of Japan it is clear that this country was significantly skyrocket between 2029 and 2040. The proportion of Americans marked increase from 10% in 1940 to 15% in 1980. The next 40 years this number was stabilized. However the percentage of elderly people in USA jumped dramatically. Between 2020 and 2040 it climbed from 15 to roughly 25%. While the proportion of Amercians was stabilizing, Sweden was increasing. Looking into future, the proportion of elderly people in Japan was icreased suddenly, with jump of over 15% from 2030 to 2040. It is clear that Japanes population of around 27% will be 65 years old. Sweden and USA will be slightly lower than Japan.
The line graph illustrates the percentage of inhabitants aged 65 or older than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, Sweden, USA in the specific year.

Overall
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
eldrly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
grew in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, Sweden and USA over a hundred period year.
The usual collocation for "Exception" in this context is "to" not "of". Did you mean "Exception to"?
Exception of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that this country was
significantly
skyrocket between 2029 and 2040.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of Americans marked increase from 10% in 1940 to 15% in 1980. The
next
40 years this number
was stabilized
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the percentage of elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
jumped
dramatically
. Between 2020 and 2040 it climbed from 15 to roughly 25%. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Amercians
was stabilizing, Sweden was increasing.

Looking into future, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
was
Possible spelling mistake found.
icreased
suddenly
, with jump of over 15% from 2030 to 2040. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Japanes
population of around 27% will be 65 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. Sweden and USA will be
slightly
lower than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
.
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IELTS academic The line graph illustrates the percentage of inhabitants aged 65 or older than Japan, Sweden, USA in the specific year.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
151 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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