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line graph with radio and television users

line graph with radio and television users nV5bl
The given line graph illustrates the changes in the usage of the radio and television during the day between Octomber and December in the year 1992. The units were given as a percentage of the population who were above 4 years old. The most striking feature in the graph is, the television was more popular than the radio between 2 pm and 2 am. This was started zero in the morning 6 and increased with the fluctuations until it eqaulized with the number of radio audience 15% approximately. Then, there was a sharp peak just over 40% at 8 in the night which was sharply dropped just above zero at 2 o'clock in the morning. Similarly, the percentage of radio audience has been increased rapidly to almost 28% at 8. 00 am eventhough it gradually decreased to slightly above zero in the morning 2. 00 am with minor fluctuations. overall radio had audience throughout the day as it had almost 7% of users at the begining, however, television has been used by more users compared to radio.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrates the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the usage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
and television during the day between
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Octomber
and December in the year 1992. The units were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
as a percentage of the population who were above 4 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
most striking feature in the graph is, the television was more popular than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
between 2 pm and 2 am. This was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
zero in the morning 6 and increased with the fluctuations until it
Possible spelling mistake found.
eqaulized
with the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
audience 15% approximately. Then, there was a sharp peak
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 40% at 8 in the night which was
sharply
dropped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above zero at 2 o'clock in the morning.

Similarly
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
audience has
been increased
rapidly
to almost 28% at 8. 00 am
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventhough
it
gradually
decreased to
slightly
above zero in the morning 2. 00 am with minor fluctuations.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
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radio
had audience throughout the day as it had almost 7% of users at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
begining
,
however
, television has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by more users compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
.

IELTS academic line graph with radio and television users

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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