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Line Graph percentages 18-25years old studying in universities from four countries

Line Graph percentages 18-25years old studying in universities from four countries lJeb
The line graph illustrates the percentage of 18-25year old enrolled in tertiary education programs in four countries from 1961 to 2001. Overall, it can be seen that Singapore had the highest proportion of 18 to 25 years old studying at universities for majority of given time period. Also, there was an increase in the proportion opting for higher education in all countries. In 1961, the proportion of 18-25year Thais enrolled in university was 25% and it was followed by Singapore at 15%. By contrast, the percentage studying at universities in Philippines and Malaysia was only 7% and 2% respectively. From 1961 To 1991, there was slightly decrease in the proportion from Thailand at universities, while the proportion increased slightly to around 15% for both Malaysia and Philippines. In Singapore also, the proportion rose but with fluctuation and in 1991, about 35% of 18-25years old were enrolled in universities. Over the last decades from 1991 to 2011, the proportion of Singaporean, Filipino and Thai 18-25years old went up, Whereas the figure in Malaysia remained unchanged. In 2011, the percentages studying at universities stood at around 40% in Singapore and Malaysia, while the figures for Philippines and Thailand was considerably lower at 15% and 10% respectively.
The line graph illustrates the percentage of
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18-25year
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old
enrolled in tertiary education programs in four countries from 1961 to 2001.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that Singapore had the highest
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proportion
of 18 to 25 years
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old
studying at
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universities
for
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period.
Also
, there was an increase in the
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proportion
opting for higher education in all countries. In 1961, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
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18-25year
Thais enrolled in
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university
was 25% and it
was followed
by Singapore at 15%. By contrast, the percentage studying at
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universities
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the Philippines".
in Philippines
and Malaysia was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
7% and 2%
respectively
. From 1961 To 1991, there was
slightly
decrease in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
from Thailand at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
increased
slightly
to around 15% for both Malaysia and Philippines. In Singapore
also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
rose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with fluctuation and in 1991, about 35% of 18-25years
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old
were enrolled
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. Over the last decades from 1991 to 2011, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of Singaporean, Filipino and Thai 18-25years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
went up, Whereas the figure in Malaysia remained unchanged. In 2011, the percentages studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
stood at around 40% in Singapore and Malaysia, while the figures
A determiner is probably missing here: "for the Philippines".
for Philippines
and Thailand was
considerably
lower at 15% and 10%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic Line Graph percentages 18-25years old studying in universities from four countries

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
204 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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