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Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems.

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems. PeLw
The table illustrates the number of people from three different age groups worked in various employment sectors. people between age group 18 to 25, 25 to 40 and 40 to 65 has been taken into account. Overall, considering irrespective of age group, manufacturing is the largest employment sector summing up to a total of 50 members and accountancy turns out to be the lowest employment sector where a total of only 8 people worked in it. It is evident from the graph that between the age group 18-25 accountancy is least employed sector with 3 members and retail sector is the highest employed sector with 23 members working in it. Considering the second age group 25-40, the least employed sector is accountancy with only 2 members in it and manufacturing and health sectors can be considered as the second highest employed sector with 15 members and there are about 18 members employed in other sectors. Finally, in the age group between 40-65, the highest employed sector is manufacturing which accounts to 23 members and the least employed sector is accountancy with 3 members.
The table illustrates the number of
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people
from three
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different
age

groups worked in various employment
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sectors
.
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people
between
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age
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group


18 to 25, 25 to 40 and 40 to 65 has
been taken
into account.

Overall
, considering irrespective of
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age
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group
, manufacturing is

the largest employment
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sector
summing up to a total of 50 members

and accountancy turns out to be the lowest employment sector

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where
a total of
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only
8
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people
worked in it.

It is evident from the graph that between the
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age
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group
18-25 accountancy

is least
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employed
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sector
with 3
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members
and retail
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sector
is the

A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
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employed
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sector
with 23
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members
working in it. Considering
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


second
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age
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group
25-40, the least
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employed
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sector
is accountancy with

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only
2
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members
in it and manufacturing and health
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sectors
can
be considered


as the second highest
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employed
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sector
with 15
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members
and there are

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about
18
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members
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employed
in other
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sectors
.
Finally
, in the
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age
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group
between

40-65, the highest
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employed
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sector
is manufacturing which accounts to

23
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members
and the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is accountancy with 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
.
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IELTS academic Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems.

Academic
  American English
12 paragraphs
183 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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