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LINE GRAPH HAS GIVEN DATA IN TH IMAGE

LINE GRAPH HAS GIVEN DATA IN TH IMAGE 9Bg3X
THE LINE GRAPH ILLUSTRATES ENERGY CONSUMPTION IN US FROM 4 DIFFERENT RENEWABLE AND NON RENEWABLE SOURCE OF ENERGY (PETROL AND OIL, COAL, NATURAL GAS, NUCLEAR, SOLAR/WIND AND HYDROPOWER ). THIS INFORMATION IS FROM THE REPORT OF 2008. IT SHOWS THE USAGE FROM HISTORY OF 1980 TO THE FUTURE TILL 2030. OVERALL, PETROL AND OIL WAS AND WILL BE THE MOST IMPORTANT FUEL. THE CONSUMPTION OF COAL AND NATURAL GAS WILL REMAIN ALLMOST THE SAME WITH FEW UPS AND DOWNS, MOREOVER, NUCLEAR, SOLAR/WIND AND HYDROPOWER WILL BE THE LEAST CONSUMED FULE TYPE. FURTHERMORE, PETROL AND OIL WAS THE MOST USED FUEL WITH 35%IN THE YEAR OF1980. AND HAS BEEN AT THE TOP WITH GRADUAL GROWTH EACH YEAR AND HAS REACHED ITS PEAK IN 2030 WITH 50% ALONE IN THE USA, ON THE OTHER HAND NATURAL GAS HAS REMAINED NEAR TO 20%SINCE 1980TO 2030. HOWEVER, COAL HAS BEEN 2ND MOST USED PRODUCT FOR ENERGY EXTRACTION HOLDINGABOVE 25%IN THE YEAR 2030. In addition, nuclear, solar wind / and hydropower is least used when compared to petrol and oil The difference is almost around 45%. ALL 3 has win comparatively study and are parallel to each other from 1980 and are projected to be parallel in the future by remaining under 5%.
THE LINE GRAPH ILLUSTRATES ENERGY CONSUMPTION IN US FROM 4
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DIFFERENT
RENEWABLE AND
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
NON RENEWABLE
SOURCE OF ENERGY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(PETROL
AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OIL
, COAL, NATURAL GAS, NUCLEAR, SOLAR/WIND AND HYDROPOWER
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
. THIS INFORMATION IS FROM THE REPORT OF 2008. IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SHOWS
THE USAGE FROM HISTORY OF 1980 TO THE FUTURE TILL 2030.

OVERALL
,
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PETROL
AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OIL
WAS AND WILL BE THE MOST
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
IMPORTANT
FUEL. THE CONSUMPTION OF COAL AND NATURAL GAS WILL REMAIN
Possible spelling mistake found.
ALLMOST
THE SAME WITH FEW UPS AND DOWNS,
MOREOVER
, NUCLEAR, SOLAR/WIND AND HYDROPOWER WILL BE THE LEAST CONSUMED
Possible spelling mistake found.
FULE
TYPE.

FURTHERMORE
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PETROL
AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OIL
WAS THE MOST
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USED
FUEL WITH 35%IN THE YEAR OF1980. AND HAS BEEN AT THE TOP WITH GRADUAL GROWTH EACH YEAR AND HAS REACHED ITS PEAK IN 2030 WITH 50% ALONE IN THE USA,
ON THE OTHER HAND
NATURAL GAS HAS REMAINED NEAR TO 20%SINCE 1980TO 2030.
HOWEVER
, COAL HAS BEEN 2ND MOST
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USED
PRODUCT FOR ENERGY EXTRACTION
Possible spelling mistake found.
HOLDINGABOVE
25%IN THE YEAR 2030.
In addition
, nuclear, solar wind / and hydropower is least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
when compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
The difference is almost around 45%. ALL 3 has
Use past participle here: "won".
win
comparatively
study and are parallel to each other from 1980 and
are projected
to be parallel in the future by remaining under 5%.
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IELTS academic LINE GRAPH HAS GIVEN DATA IN TH IMAGE

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
208 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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