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The lines graph given illustrates data regarding how much was used for youngster’s sports by parents in Britain and the figure of British youngsters who engaged in playing sport over the course of 6 years, commencing 2008

The lines graph given illustrates data regarding how much was used for youngster’s sports by parents in Britain and the figure of British youngsters who engaged in playing sport over the course of 6 years, commencing 2008 Pkyxw
As can be inferred from the graph, in 2008, expenditure on their kid surged, while in 2014 the number of young people joining swimming saw an upward trend, football and athletics were witnessed a fluctuation. An added key feature is that the highest figure of the graphs was recorded for children’s entrance in football and spending money by English parents in 2014 In 2008, English parents have expended the average money in the neighborhood of $20 per month on their children’s sporting activities. This figure registered an upswing to approximately $32 per month in 2014 It can be seen that the young’s participation, in 2008, British youngsters joined in football around 8 million, while only 2 million of them entered in swimming. Meanwhile, the young in Britain practiced athletics for nearly 1 million. Within a time span of 6 years, British young took part in swimming more than 3 million people and about 9 million children played football whereas the number of them was experienced athletics
As can
be inferred
from the graph, in 2008, expenditure on their kid surged, while in 2014 the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
joining swimming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
an upward trend,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
and athletics
were witnessed
a fluctuation. An
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
key feature is that the highest figure of the graphs
was recorded
for children’s entrance in
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football
and spending money by English parents in 2014

In 2008, English parents have expended the average money in the neighborhood of $20 per month on their children’s sporting activities. This figure registered an upswing to approximately $32 per month in 2014

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young’s
participation, in 2008, British youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
in
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football
around 8
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million
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
of them entered in swimming. Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
in Britain practiced athletics for
nearly
1
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million
. Within a time span of 6 years, British
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young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in swimming more than 3
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and about 9
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million
children played
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football
whereas the number of them
was experienced
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
athletics
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IELTS academic The lines graph given illustrates data regarding how much was used for youngster’s sports by parents in Britain and the figure of British youngsters who engaged in playing sport over the course of 6 years, commencing 2008

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
165 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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