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Line chart task 1 the cosumpition of fast food in Austrailia by teenagers

Line chart task 1 the cosumpition of fast food in Austrailia by teenagers 2rbab
The line chart dipects the exhaustion of fast food by young citizens in Austrailia under 18 years old. It is clear that, The rate of Fish and Chips faced a huge increase. According to what is shown in graph the number of teens how eats Pizza in 1975 was in a low rate till it rise to 20, 000 in the second half of the year 1980. In 1990 the number of teenagers how like to eat pizza reach 60, 000 then, It back to rise again and remained the same from 1995 to 2000 which was more than 80, 000. Hamburgers increase dramatically during 1975 to 1985. Then, It rise moderately till it stops in the number 100, 000. While, fish and chips have the hughest number in exhaustion from teens. Then, It starts to dicline in 15 years to reach the number 40, 000. To sum up, we could say that pizza and hamburgers increase wihle fish and chips fall down during 25 years in Austrailia by teenagers.
The line chart
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dipects
the exhaustion of
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fast
food by young citizens in
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Austrailia
under 18 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, The rate of Fish and Chips faced a huge increase. According to what
is shown
in graph the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of teens how eats Pizza in 1975 was in a low rate till it rise to 20, 000 in the second half of the
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year
1980. In 1990 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
how like to eat pizza reach 60, 000 then, It back to rise again and remained the same from 1995 to 2000 which was more than 80, 000. Hamburgers increase
dramatically
during 1975 to 1985. Then, It
Did you mean "rises"?
rise
moderately
till it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
in the
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number
100, 000. While, fish and chips have the
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hughest
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number
in exhaustion from teens. Then, It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to
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dicline
in 15 years to reach the
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number
40, 000. To sum up, we could say that pizza and hamburgers increase
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wihle
fish and chips fall down during 25 years in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Austrailia
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
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IELTS academic Line chart task 1 the cosumpition of fast food in Austrailia by teenagers

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
170 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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