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Level of educations in three age groups

Level of educations in three age groups pLRaL
The pie chart and bar chart illustrate parcentage of education levels in Glasgow a city in Scotland in 2010. Overall, it can be seen that, the majority of people with university education were in the younger age group, while in the oldest age group most people did not have any qualifications. The proportion of men and women were similar and showed little difference between the levels of education. The persantage of university educations was up to 75% in the younger three age groups compared to only 50% in those aged 50 to 75, while was 25% in those over 75. This trend was reversed in those with no qualifications ( 9% in younger people rising to 72% in the oldest age group). The figure for those with school education was relatively constant at around 20% but was as lows 3% in the over 75s. The proportion of men and women in each level of education was around one third with only a slight difference of 3% in university graduates as well as those who did not have educational qualifications.
The pie chart and bar chart illustrate
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parcentage
of
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education
levels in Glasgow a city in Scotland in 2010.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with university
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education
were in the younger
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age
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group
, while in the oldest
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
did not have any qualifications. The proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women were similar and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
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little
difference between the levels of education.

The
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persantage
of university
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educations
was up to 75% in the younger three
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age
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groups
compared to
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only
50% in those aged 50 to 75, while was 25% in those over 75. This trend
was reversed
in those with no qualifications
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(
9% in younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rising to 72% in the oldest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group)
. The figure for those with school
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education
was
relatively
constant at around 20%
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but
was as lows 3% in the over 75s.

The proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women in each level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
was around one third with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a slight difference of 3% in university graduates
as well
as those who did not have educational qualifications.
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IELTS academic Level of educations in three age groups

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
179 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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