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criteria to assess salaries

criteria to assess salaries yLdYg
In the past, there was the shortage of entertaining and other such things, but now trends are changed and more people are interested in cinema, every second child want to be an actor or an actress, and there are many who opening big businesses. Businessmen and famous people are usually spent a lot of time in social media and probably this is the main reason of why people are concerned that jobs of company bosses or film stars are easier and out of importance. I believe that film actors or entrepreneurs are as important as any other kind of employers like doctors or teachers. Each of them has it is own importance, and I think that they should be paid equally. According to some people qualifications has long been used as a yardstick for paying people, but it is not a consistently good measure. Another is years of experience, but there are many cases where a younger person can perform a task better than someone with lots of experience. Moreover, in my view there is no criteria that could be used to decide how much people should be paid for their work. This will create pressure in other areas.
In the past, there was the shortage of entertaining and other such things,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
trends are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interested
in cinema, every second child want to be an actor or an actress, and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
who opening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
businesses. Businessmen and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
usually
spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time in social media and
probably
this is the main reason of why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are concerned
that jobs of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
bosses or film stars are easier and out of importance. I believe that film actors or entrepreneurs are as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as any other kind of employers like doctors or teachers. Each of them has it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
importance, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should
be paid
equally
.

According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
qualifications has long been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a yardstick for paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not a
consistently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
measure. Another is years of experience,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases where a younger person can perform a task better than someone with lots of experience.

Moreover
, in my view
Did you mean "there are no criteria"?
there is no criteria
that could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to decide how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be paid
for their work. This will create pressure in other areas.
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IELTS academic criteria to assess salaries

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
199 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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