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issues reported by people of UK in 2008

issues reported by people of UK in 2008 0njXQ
The horizontal graph analysis the three type of problems bump into the residents living in 7 different cities in the United Kingdom in 2008. Overall, health service were the most common dispute in all the cities. And air pollution without doubt the smallest issue in all cities. However, we can say that health service and education and training issues had the max amount. As we noticed in the graph that New castle had the most clear air. Belfast and Cardiff with the apical level of health services were nearly at the same rate. Despite of education and training issues were at the lowest number in Manchester. Health service issues had the smallest portion in Glasgow. Furthermore, Belfast had the highest number of health service issues which is almost 60%. Meanwhile London, Glasgow, Belfast and Birmingham sustain education and training issues relatively at the same rate the which is the higher level. Whereas Manchester had the highest number of air pollution which is nearly 15%.
The horizontal graph analysis the three type of problems bump into the residents living in 7
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cities in the United Kingdom in 2008.

Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
were the most common dispute in all the cities. And air pollution without doubt the smallest
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issue
in all cities.
However
, we can say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
and education and training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
had the max amount.

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we noticed in the graph that New castle had the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
air. Belfast and Cardiff with the apical level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
were
nearly
at the same rate.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
education and training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
were at the lowest number in Manchester.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
had the smallest portion in Glasgow.

Furthermore
, Belfast had the highest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
which is almost 60%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
London, Glasgow, Belfast and Birmingham sustain education and training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
relatively
at the same rate the which is the higher level.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
Manchester had the highest number of air pollution which is
nearly
15%.
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IELTS academic issues reported by people of UK in 2008

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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