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Internet users by age group in Canada who shopped online in 2014 and 2018

Internet users by age group in Canada who shopped online in 2014 and 2018 k6OP8
Internet is utilized by Individuals by age group within Canada who shopped online between 2014 and 2018. What stands out from the bar chart was that there exist 6 kinds of age in the bar chart. And also Utilizing percents did not the same in 2 years. That means, the rates fluctuated invariably in the bar chart. Firstly, Internet was used the most by 35-45 ages for 2018 with 40%. And Furthermore the percentage of Internet users went up step by step from 15-25 ages to 35-45 ages for 2018. But also after that, the rates of of Internet users decreased overwhermingly from nearly 40% to about 10%. Secondly, on the face of 2014, Internet was utilized the most by 26-35 ages with more slightly 30%. In general for in 2014, the rates of Internet users improved sharply from 15-25 ages to 26-35 ages. Neverthelles, after all, the percentage of Internet users went down from nearly 30% to 5%. And in 2018 Internet users percent was more than in 2014 percents at all age group such as in 2018. It was 3% more than in 2014 percents for 15-25, 26-35 ages
Internet
is utilized
by Individuals by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group within Canada who shopped online between 2014 and 2018. What stands out from the bar chart was that there exist 6 kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
in the bar chart. And
also
Utilizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percents
did not the same in 2 years. That means, the rates fluctuated
invariably
in the bar chart.
Firstly
, Internet was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the most by 35-45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
for 2018 with 40%. And
Furthermore
the percentage of Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
went up step by step from 15-25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
to 35-45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
for 2018.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
also
after that, the rates
Possible typo: you repeated a word
of of
Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
decreased
Possible spelling mistake found.
overwhermingly
from
nearly
40% to about 10%.
Secondly
, on the face of 2014, Internet
was utilized
the most by 26-35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
with more
slightly
30%.
In general
for in 2014, the rates of Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
sharply
from 15-25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
to 26-35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Neverthelles
,
after all
, the percentage of Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
went down from
nearly
30% to 5%. And in 2018 Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
was more than in 2014
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percents
at all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group such as in 2018. It was 3% more than in 2014
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percents
for 15-25, 26-35
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
ages
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IELTS academic Internet users by age group in Canada who shopped online in 2014 and 2018

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
190 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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