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Internet use of females in America

Internet use of females in America OyVm7
This given bar chart shows data on the use of internet by females of various ages in two different years. Overall, the majority of the percentages of internet use increased in the following year of 2000 in 2001 in most age groups of females. In the year 2000 the highest percentage of internet use could be found in the age group of 12 to 15 with 91 per cent, while the age group of 65+was at the bottom with just 20 percent. With 91 per cent teenagers between the age of 12 to 15 had more than four times internet use than 65+ women. The second highest proportion was found in the same year with nearly 90 percent on the age group of 16 to 18 year old female teenagers. In the meantime 19 to 24 year old females had a percentage of 80 per cent.  In the following year in 2001 a massive shift was seen. The most change could be seen in the age of 36 to 45 year old women. From the previous year with 68 per cent, in 2001 an increase was experienced to 83 per cent. The internet use of the age group of 19 to24 year old females remained unchanged with 80 per cent, whereas the percentage of 16 to 18 year old females rise up to 100 per cent.
This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
data on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet by
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females
of various
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ages
in two
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different
years.

Overall
, the majority of the
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percentages
of internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
increased in the following
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year
of 2000 in 2001 in most
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age
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groups
of
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females
. In the
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year
2000 the highest
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percentage
of internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
could
be found
in the
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age
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group
of 12 to 15 with 91 per cent, while the
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age
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group
of 65+was at the bottom with
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just
20 percent. With 91 per cent
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teenagers
between the
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age
of 12 to 15 had more than four times internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
than 65+ women. The second highest proportion
was found
in the same
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year
with
nearly
90 percent on the
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 16 to 18
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year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. In the meantime 19 to 24
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year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of 80 per cent.  In the following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
in 2001 a massive shift was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
. The most
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change
could be
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seen
in the
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age
of 36 to 45
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year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
women. From the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
with 68 per cent, in 2001 an increase
was experienced
to 83 per cent. The internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 19 to24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
remained unchanged with 80 per cent, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of 16 to 18
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
rise up to 100 per cent.
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IELTS academic Internet use of females in America

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
226 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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