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information of global water usage by agriculture, industrial, and domestic use sector from 1900 to 2000

information of global water usage by agriculture, industrial, and domestic use sector from 1900 to 2000 kLoW8
The graph shows information of global water usage by agriculture, industrial, and domestic use sector from 1900 to 2000. It is given with example of water consumption in Brazil and Congo in 2000. Overall, it can be seen that all three sectors had an upward trend. At the starting period, the water usage from three sectors were below 1000 km3 with agriculture became the biggest sector which used it. From 1900 to 1950, the agriculture sector regularly inclined, but the two other sectors reminded stable. However, in 1950 to 2000 all sectors had an ascending trend. At the end of period, the agriculture still was the biggest sector with water usage amount at 3000 km3. The Industrial use was the second biggest sector and domestic use had the smallest water usage. In 2000, there was correlation between irrigated land with water consumption per person. Bigger irrigated land distributed more water to people. In Brazil with 26. 500 km2 irrigated land, it made one person consumed 359 m3 water. Whereas, Congo with only 100 km2 irrigated land just made 8 m3 water consumption per person.
The graph
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shows
information of global
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water
usage by
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agriculture
, industrial, and domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
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sector
from 1900 to 2000. It is
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given
with example of
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water
consumption in Brazil and Congo in 2000.

Overall
, it can be
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seen
that all three
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sectors
had an upward trend. At the starting period, the
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water
usage from three
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sectors
were below 1000 km3 with
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agriculture
became the biggest
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sector
which
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used
it.

From 1900 to 1950, the
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agriculture
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sector
regularly
inclined,
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but
the two other
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sectors
reminded stable.
However
, in 1950 to 2000 all
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sectors
had an ascending trend. At the
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end
of period, the
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agriculture
still
was the biggest
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sector
with
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water
usage amount at 3000 km3. The Industrial
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use
was the second biggest
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sector
and domestic
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use
had the smallest
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water
usage.

In 2000, there was correlation between
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irrigated
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land
with
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water
consumption per person. Bigger
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irrigated
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land
distributed more
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water
to
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people
. In Brazil with 26. 500 km2
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irrigated
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land
, it made one person consumed 359 m3
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water
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, Congo with
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only
100 km2
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irrigated
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land
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just
made 8 m3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption per person.
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IELTS academic information of global water usage by agriculture, industrial, and domestic use sector from 1900 to 2000

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
184 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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