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information about Turkish, greek and iranian students enrolled

information about Turkish, greek and iranian students enrolled o69lV
The line graph illustrates about the enrollment of international students at Sheffield university during the year 2005 and 2009. The data is calibrated in a numbers. overall, the data indicate that number of students admitted in university was higher in iran as compare to greece who, having lowest number of students enrolled in year 2009. It can be clearly seen, in starting time greece shows nearby 180 number of students enrolled in university which was a highest value. However, thae data fluctuating and went down in year 2009, it was lowest value that yeat, that students were enrolled. furthermore, in 2005 their was a little difference between Iran andTurkey for students enrollment in university in year 2005 but their was a drastically increase in Iran and it reach the upper level in year 2009. In spite of this, turkey rose but this incline was lowest 5 percent from iran.
The line graph illustrates about the enrollment of international
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students
at Sheffield
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university
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005 and 2009. The data
is calibrated
in
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a number" or simply "numbers"?
a numbers
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
, the data indicate that number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
admitted in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
was higher in
Possible spelling mistake found.
iran
as compare to
Possible spelling mistake found.
greece
who, having
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enrolled in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2009.

It can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, in starting time
Possible spelling mistake found.
greece
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
nearby 180 number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enrolled in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
which was
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
highest value.
However
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thae
data fluctuating and went down in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2009, it was
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
value that
Possible spelling mistake found.
yeat
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were enrolled
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, in 2005
Did you mean "there"?
their
was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
difference between Iran
Possible spelling mistake found.
andTurkey
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enrollment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Did you mean "there"?
their
was a
You used an adverb ('drastically') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('increase') instead of another adjective.
drastically increase
in Iran and it
Did you mean "reaches"?
reach
the upper level in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2009.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this, turkey rose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this incline was lowest 5 percent from
Possible spelling mistake found.
iran
.

IELTS academic information about Turkish, greek and iranian students enrolled

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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