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information about the technology that households in one Us city used

information about the technology that households in one Us city used m9V2O
This chart shows data about the technology that households in specific city in US used for watching during 2004 and 2014. According to what is shown in the graph, there are four technologies foe watching television which are satellite, cable, internet and broadcast. Also, it depicts the number of the users for the technologies between 2004 and 2014. It is clear from the graph that internet reached the biggest number of households which is about 190, 000 in 2014. While, broadcast started with 90, 000 users in 2004 then, it decreased gradually until it reached 20, 000 households approximately in 2014. To sum up, we could say that broadcast, internet, and cable were roughly close to each other. One the other hand, satellite considered as the highest technology was used.
This chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
data about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
that households in specific city in US
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for watching during 2004 and 2014.

According to what
is shown
in the graph, there are four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
foe watching television which are satellite, cable, internet and broadcast.
Also
, it depicts the number of the users for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
between 2004 and 2014. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that internet reached the biggest number of households which is about 190, 000 in 2014. While, broadcast
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with 90, 000 users in 2004 then, it decreased
gradually
until it reached 20, 000 households approximately in 2014.

To sum up, we could say that broadcast, internet, and cable were roughly close to each other.
Did you mean "on"?
One
the other hand, satellite considered as the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
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IELTS academic information about the technology that households in one Us city used

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
130 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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