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Incidents and injuries for 100 million pmt ,2002.

Incidents and injuries for 100 million pmt, 2002. m9ygK
The rendered bar graph compares and contrast the differences associated with the number of incidents and injuries per million PMT( passenger miles travelled ) by different kinds of transportation named; commuter rail, heavy rail, bus and demand response during 2002. Overall, at first glance, it can be reported that, while demand response was highest number of incidents and injuries maximum figure of incidents by demand response. Additionally, commuter rail shows the least number of injuries. In detail it is worth noting that, in 2002, the numerals of person that was get incidents by demand response reported significantly higher with 225 as compare to injuries which was accounted for 173. Besides this, it is interesting to note that, the figure of passengers who were got incidents and injuries reached reported at 76 and 66 respectively. Moreover, it can bi clearly observed that, numbering of travellers whose travelled by light rail they had witnessed double in the case of incidents (76) as compare to injuries and the figure registered to 39. Although, about 35 number of visitors who had injured to heavy rail was dramatically higher to 51 in the case of incidents. Furthermore, the calculation of outsiders suffer by commuter rail and which were injured and incidents accounted between 17 and 20 of which max number of passengers incidents ( 20), while least by injuries (17).
The rendered bar graph compares and contrast the differences associated with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
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incidents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
per million PMT
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
passenger miles travelled
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of transportation named; commuter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
, heavy
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rail
, bus and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
response
during 2002.
Overall
, at
first
glance, it can
be reported
that, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
response
was
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
maximum figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
response
.
Additionally
, commuter
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rail
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
. In
The comma is probably missing here: "detail, it".
detail it
is worth noting that, in 2002, the numerals of person that was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
response
reported
significantly
higher with 225 as compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
which
was accounted
for 173.
Besides
this, it is interesting to note that, the figure of passengers who were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
reached reported at 76 and 66
respectively
.
Moreover
, it
The word 'bi' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
can bi
clearly
observed that, numbering of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
whose travelled by light
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rail
they had witnessed double in the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
(76) as compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
and the figure registered to 39.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, about 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of visitors who had injured to heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
was
dramatically
higher to 51 in the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
.
Furthermore
, the calculation of outsiders suffer by commuter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
and which
were injured
and
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incidents
accounted between 17 and 20 of which max
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of passengers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
20), while least by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
(17).
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IELTS academic Incidents and injuries for 100 million pmt, 2002.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
225 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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