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complex chart includes information about the number of participant in 2014 Olympics

complex chart includes information about the number of participant in 2014 Olympics JqgeD
The chart and graph below illustrate the number of participants entering the Olympics since it was first held. On average, the number of male athletes attending the Games was always higher than females and the line graph shows that overall participation has been on the increase since 1924. Beginning with the Bar chart, there was a significant rise in male figures from 1924 to 2012. They started at 3000 in 1924 and continued rising until 2012 finishing at 6000 competitors, nearly double its original number. On the other hand, in the first year, the number of female athletes were quite low, only several hundred in fact. However, the figures witnesses a gradual climb which became more dramatic in 1984 but most significantly in 2012 when the number stood at nearly 5000. In comparison to 1924 with males, the margin was nearly 3000, by 2012 this had been halved. Moving to the line graph, the number of overall people who participated in the Games was around 3500. This rose consistently to over 6000 in 1984 and finally reached just over 10, 000 in 2012. In summary, even though the number of male athletes was always more than that of females, the female figures saw considerable growth over the period.
The chart and graph below illustrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of participants entering the Olympics since it was
first
held. On average, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of male athletes attending the Games was always higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
and the line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
overall
participation has been on the increase since 1924.

Beginning with the Bar chart, there was a significant rise in male figures from 1924 to 2012. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 3000 in 1924 and continued rising until 2012 finishing at 6000 competitors,
nearly
double its original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
.
On the other hand
, in the
first
year, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
athletes were quite low,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
several hundred in fact.

However
, the figures witnesses a gradual climb which became more dramatic in 1984
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most
significantly
in 2012 when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
stood at
nearly
5000.
In comparison
to 1924 with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
, the margin was
nearly
3000, by 2012 this had
been halved
.

Moving to the line graph, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
overall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who participated in the Games was around 3500. This rose
consistently
to over 6000 in 1984 and
finally
reached
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 10, 000 in 2012.

In summary,
even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of male athletes was always more than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
figures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
considerable growth over the period.
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IELTS academic complex chart includes information about the number of participant in 2014 Olympics

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
208 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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