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Annual average spending on clothes per person

Annual average spending on clothes per person AgdXN
The given chart gives the information about the amount of money individual spends on clothes every year in the United States over a period of twenty years. It is noticeable that in 1985, the level odd women’s clothes and men’s clothes stood at approximately 300$-350$, whereas the figures for boy’s clothes and girl’s clothes were more significantly lower, at roughly 100$. By comparison, the year 1995 witnessed the number of men’s clothes grew more significantly than the figure for clothes of girl, boy and women where there was a slight rise around 10$, compared to 120$ in men’s clothes. Another fact worth noticing in the bar chart is that over the next ten years, the amount of money that boy allocated in clothes levelled off at 100$. On the other hand, while there was an increase in girl and women figures with the exception of men’s clothes where the trend declined at around about 430$. Overall, while there is a relatively stability of boy’s clothes during period and there is minor change in girl’s clothes, women who invest the majority of money on clothes.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chart gives the information about the amount of money individual spends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
every year in the United States over a period of twenty years.

It is noticeable that in 1985, the level odd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
stood at approximately
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$300".
300$
-
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$350".
350$
, whereas the figures for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boy’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
were more
significantly
lower, at roughly
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$100".
100$
.

By comparison, the year 1995 witnessed the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
grew more
significantly
than the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boy
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
where there was a slight rise around
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$10".
10$
, compared to
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$120".
120$
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men’s
clothes.

Another fact worth noticing in the bar chart is that over the
next
ten years, the amount of money that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boy
allocated in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
levelled off at
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$100".
100$
.
On the other hand
, while there was an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
figures
Consider using "except" or "except for"
with the exception of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
where the trend declined at around about
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$430".
430$
.

Overall
, while there is a
You used an adverb ('relatively') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('stability') instead of another adjective.
relatively stability
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boy’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
during period and there is minor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who invest the majority of money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
.
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IELTS academic Annual average spending on clothes per person

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
184 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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