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In many countries it is common for parents to give their children pocket money to you do the advantage outweigh the disadvantages

In many countries it is common for parents to give their children pocket money to you do the advantage outweigh the disadvantages 0ERyq
Money matters a lot in everyone's life it is certainly true that in many countries children have more items and their parents give them pocket money there are certain drawbacks of this friend I believe that on the whole merits outweigh demerits. In the forthcoming paragraphs I will are articulate both advantages as well as disadvantages. On the one hand, there are many demerits of giving pocket money to children by parents. To begin with, the main problem is that the children are not mature enough to decide their wrong and right. they can misuse their money. For example, they might be trying drugs or smoking under peer pressure. In addition, nowadays parents have no enough time to select things for their pupils. Egro, they give bucks to their children. As a result, the youngsters think that their parents have no interest in them and then they can use their money in any way they can waste their bucks on buying unnecessary things. However, In my opunion, I would argue that these drawbacks outweighed by the benefits of providing pocket money. Firstly, pocket money improves decision making. In other words. l, children learn the way of standing they become know about cost of different things and also know the way of managing money what is more they can learn additional skills by joining extra classes they can learn the skill of saving money can manage money according to their expenditures become self Independence for the more one can explore more in his studies can buy more informative books and improve his knowledge as a result pocket money help us in many ways but it is prominent that whether you know the right way of using it or not. Summing up it seems to me that there are lots of benefits of pocket money and they are more significant than drawbacks of providing pocket money.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
matters a lot in everyone's life it is
certainly
true that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have more items and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
give them pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
there are certain drawbacks of this friend I believe that
on the whole
merits outweigh demerits. In the forthcoming paragraphs I will are articulate both advantages
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
disadvantages. On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
demerits of giving pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main problem is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to decide their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and right.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
can misuse their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For example
, they might be trying drugs or smoking under peer pressure.
In addition
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to select things for their pupils.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Egro
, they give bucks to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
As a result
, the youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have no interest in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
then they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in any way they can waste their bucks on buying unnecessary things.
However
, In my
Possible spelling mistake found.
opunion
, I would argue that these drawbacks outweighed by the benefits of providing pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Firstly
, pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
.
In other words
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
l
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn the way of standing they become know about cost of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things and
also
know the way of managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
what is more
they can learn additional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by joining extra classes they can learn the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
according to their expenditures become self Independence for the more one can explore more in his studies can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more informative books and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his knowledge
as a result
pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is prominent that whether you know the right way of using it or not. Summing up it seems to me that there are lots of benefits of pocket
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they are more significant than drawbacks of providing pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.

IELTS academic In many countries it is common for parents to give their children pocket money to you do the advantage outweigh the disadvantages

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
314 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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