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In June 1996, an experimental flu vaccine was trialled in a large country town on females only. The result of this survey is presented in the following illustration.

The line graph and bar graph reveal the number of cases and deaths due to flu and pie chart demonstrates the percentage of experiment of vaccine. Overall, amount of females was maximum in cases rate and deaths, while recipients of new vaccine groups who at the risk thst was aged group. In june 1996, number of deaths and fle rate highest in females that was one in march to may and from june to august that was rose with five but flu rate of cases was showed fluctuations from zero to 2500, while men also followed erratical trend in number of cases which was 0 to 1500. Moreover, number of deaths of males due to flu was 0 in march to may but in june to august it was rose with 4. The percentage of babies who tried new vaccine at risk that was 24% and 35% aged group over 65 years old. At last, 13% vaccine experiment on hospitalised and 28% not given the vaccine respectively in june 1996.
The line graph and bar graph reveal the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of cases and deaths due to flu and pie chart demonstrates the percentage of experiment of vaccine.

Overall
, amount of females was maximum in cases rate and deaths, while recipients of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
groups who at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
Possible spelling mistake found.
thst
was aged
group.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
june
1996,
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number
of deaths and
Possible spelling mistake found.
fle
rate highest in females that was one in
The month "March" needs to be capitalized.
march
to
The month "May" needs to be capitalized.
may
and from
Possible spelling mistake found.
june
to
The month "August" needs to be capitalized.
august
that was rose with five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
flu rate of cases was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
fluctuations from zero to 2500, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
also
followed
Possible spelling mistake found.
erratical
trend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of cases which was 0 to 1500.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of deaths of males due to flu was 0 in
The month "March" needs to be capitalized.
march
to
The month "May" needs to be capitalized.
may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
june
to
The month "August" needs to be capitalized.
august
it was rose with 4.

The percentage of babies who tried new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
that was 24% and 35% aged group over 65 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. At last, 13%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
experiment on
Possible spelling mistake. 'hospitalised' is British English.
hospitalised
and 28% not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
respectively
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
june
1996.

IELTS academic In June 1996, an experimental flu vaccine was trialled in a large country town on females only. The result of this survey is presented in the following illustration.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
170 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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